murrays on a mission

long overdue

2012-02-10T16:19:00.001-05:00

We've moved.... both from South America to North America and from Blogger to Tumbler. You can find our new blog at www.thrivingthirty.tumblr.com . Come on by and leave a note!

running

2010-08-01T08:50:00.000-05:00

pigtails

2010-07-31T13:34:00.001-05:00

little buddies

2010-07-30T18:34:00.000-05:00

sleepy bear

2010-07-29T11:08:00.000-05:00

africa

2010-07-28T09:36:00.000-05:00

heron by the dock

2010-07-27T09:32:00.000-05:00

picture this

2010-07-26T15:35:00.000-05:00

Golden gladiators shuffling down a long and dusty driveway. I knock on the farmhouse door, and sheepishly pointing to the Mercedes on the side of the road, ask if I could make a phone call. It may be twenty years old, but this car is still a fish out of water along the forgotten backroads of South Carolina. Instead of handing over his cell phone, my new friend gets right to work, slithering under the trunk of my car to take a look. He determines that the job is too big for him and calls his friend, who drives over to help a city damsel in distress. Between the two of them, they reattach my muffler with a few coat hangers and point me in the direction of Mercer's Mufflers.

Mercer's turns out to be the kind of place you would have thought was closed twenty years ago. I don't see anything in sight that isn't covered in rust, and there's no office, waiting room, or vending machine. There's just this one guy, Richard, or as his friends call him, Roach. He clamps the muffler on for $10 and replaces a rusted out pipe for $40 more while I wander around the place taking photos and hoping he isn't offended by my intrigue. As it turns out, this sketchy twist of events is a blessing. When I talked to Tim hours later, he said he was looking for just this sort of guy to help us detour around a $400 Mercedes muffler replacement.

It's funny how a good turn of events overshadows a few bad moments. This all started because I heard some tin cans clanking behind my car and knew I wasn't a newlywed. I was stranded on the side of a two lane road in inland SC with no phone and no friend. Nonetheless, four nice guys turned this day into a gift so that I barely remember that I wouldn't have needed them without that car trouble. Maybe it's good to need them. Maybe a little dependence is healthy.

Someone (and it may be my Dear Husband) will use this story as an excuse to insist that I need a cell phone. Perhaps that's true, but there's another side to this, too. It turned out better that I didn't have one. Sure, I could have called right up and gotten someone to come out and tow my car to the nearest Midas 36 miles away. They would have replaced my muffler and I would have been on my way, my wallet a lot lighter and my car in great shape. Instead I made a few friends, got some great photos, proved to myself that I can survive a little car trouble, and had my muffler fixed instead of replaced. I suppose we'll see how that turns out in the long run. For today, I'm all gratitude and not a bit annoyed with the detour.

dog salon

2010-07-25T16:15:00.000-05:00

you will find her at my feet

2010-07-24T11:53:00.000-05:00

my favorite maine souvenirs

2010-07-23T22:04:00.000-05:00

mt. holyoke blue laws

2010-07-23T09:13:00.000-05:00

Which one do you find most shocking or amusing?!

1. Admission. No young lady shall become a member of Mt. Holyoke Seminary who cannot kindle a fire, wash potatoes, repeat the multiplication table, and at least two-thirds of the shorter catechism.

2. Outfit. Every candidate for admission must be provided with a pair of rubber boots, one pair of cowhide shoes, a copy of Todd's Students's Manual, one orthodox bonnet and a clothes-line. N. B. No cosmetics, perfumes or fancy soaps will be permitted on the premises.

3. Exercise. Every member of this school shall walk at least a mile a day, unless a freshet, earthquake, or some other calamity prevent. The bounds to the north are marked by a stake, also those to the south and west. If any young lady shall go beyond said bounds, she shall scrub floors and wash dishes two weeks as a penalty.

4. Reading. No young lady shall devote more than an hour of each day to miscellaneous reading. The Atlantic Monthly, Shakespeare, Scott's Words, Robinson Crusoe, and other immoral works are strictly prohibited. The Boston Recorder, Missionary Herald, Doddridge's Rise and Progress, and Washington's Farewell Address are earnestly recommended for light reading.

5. Dress. No young lady connected with this institution shall adorn herself with flowers, plumes, or other vanities, and no colors of excessively gay nature will be tolerated, unless they be a composed yellow, dignified mouse, or puritan gray.

6. Company. No young lady is expected to have any gentleman acquaintances, unless they are retired missionaries or agents of benevolent societies. Daguerreotypes and plastic busts are also prohibited. "Thou shalt not worship any false images."

7. Hour of rising. Every student shall rise and three and retire at eight o'clock. Any violation of this rule will receive the penalty of additional work in the laundry.

8. Essays. No young lady shall write at any time write compositions except upon the following subjects: Friendship, Hope, Flowers, Beauties of Nature and Benevolence. Those designed for old maids may add Love.

9. Time at the Mirror. No young lady shall spend more than three consecutive minutes at the mirror.

10. Sabbath rules. No young lady who is a member of this school shall laugh or look out of the window on the Sabbath. Failure to observe this rule will be attended with severe punishment.

the dog is real

2010-07-22T15:55:00.000-05:00

shopping in america

2010-07-21T17:04:00.000-05:00

paws

2010-07-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

victory!!!!

2010-07-12T09:23:00.000-05:00

After being heckled in Peru for the last 2.5 years, I finally fought back today at the Giant Penny. Wish the leering had happened somewhere else to defy the stereotype about my favorite ghetto grocery store, but no surprises here. As I left the gym (granted, not wearing my most modest outfit, but still well-covered and expecting to be treated like a human), I had to go by the Giant Penny to pick up some chicken necks for Ellie's breakfast.

Some thug walked by and made a slew of inappropriate comments. I didn't know exactly what to say, but I was done letting it slide. Particularly in Charlotte where this kind of behavior is really not socially accepted the way it is in Peru. I just stared him down for a moment and then asked him if he could please attempt to treat me with a little more respect. When he tried to defend himself, I told him I really didn't appreciate his treatment of me. He sheepishly apologized and walked off. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL! Score one for me!

Generally I walk away from these situations feeling degraded, violated, stripped of my humanity, ashamed of my weakness, downright furious, filled with bitterness and thoughts of evil revenge. Instead, today I left proud, happy, empowered, and dignified. I don't know why it took me this long to stand up for myself, but honestly it feels like a major life turning point!

Living in Charlotte, I probably won't encounter this kind of situation often. That's good. But for now at least I know that I can fight back with grace and dignity.

steer clear of moose in cities

2010-07-05T06:45:00.000-05:00

That was a headline in the Portland paper today. You know you're in Maine when....

And I'm so glad to be here! It's been three years since I sat at this same spot overlooking the Casco Bay and writing about our upcoming journey to Peru. From the other side, it seems so short.

Time is flying indeed. I've been happily busy and am equally happy to have made it to this vacation. Nevermind that it's 90 degrees in Maine (why did I fly all the way up here?!). Last week was very full-- tutoring some GED folks at a post-rehab place, an interview for a Spanish immersion teaching position, lunch with my 93-year-old grandfather, putting a turquoise stripe in my hair ;-)

It's lovely to be in a place all of the sudden where I can't drive anywhere (even if there were somewhere to drive... and there isn't) and my only order of business for the day is to work on my online course. Wish I had brought my camera card reader, but I'll keep taking some photos to post when I get home.

new adventures in charlotte

2010-06-28T15:54:00.000-05:00

This weekend Tim and I tried some new activities and communities in Charlotte, places to connect, serve, and have fun. Exhausting, but rewarding all the same.

1. Pet Therapy. Taza and I went (with a volunteer group) to a nearby retirement home to share a little fluffy love. She was a big hit of course and behaved herself quite well. I'm grateful for a chance to connect with some old folks, to slow down and listen for a moment, to meet people who live so close but whose life experience is so different from mine.

2. Latin Birthday Party. Our Mexican neighbors invited us to their 1-yr-old's birthday party. Having experienced this type of event before, we knew already that it wouldn't start on time, would be 99% about adults, and would last until the wee hours of the morning. Unfortunately we had plans for the evening, so we just stopped by at 4:30 to drop off a gift. The party was supposed to start at 4, but there was barely a hint that it was going to happen. I imagine people showed up at 6 or 7. Anyway, we were glad to chat for a moment and so honored to be invited into this event. The mom brought by some cake and spaghetti the next day. I hope we can get to know them better in the future.

3. Contra Dancing. My college friend Julie gathered a small group and we spent a thrilling evening doing what Tim describes as "Pride and Prejudice meets line dancing" (Tim, of course, is very familiar with the movie and knows the dancing well). What fun! We were all pretty dizzy and exhausted by the end, but I definitely want to go back in July. The community there was perhaps the most welcoming I've ever experienced, and the facial expressions we saw were reason enough to attend on their own.

4. Pops in the Park. How have I never participated in this Charlotte tradition? The symphony plays on an outdoor stage on Sunday nights in the summer and the whole city (well, at least a certain subcategory) shows up to enjoy picnics on blankets while the sun goes down. It happened to rain a little before the show, so the weather cooled down enough to make breathing fairly easy. I went with Marty and Emily and for a few moments, just sat in awe of the gift that they are to me. I'm so grateful that they are willing to share their amazing friendship and open their lives to me. Plus they have precious children.

I told Tim last week that I really need a day off. At first I didn't understand why he was laughing at me. Then I remembered that I don't even have a job. Oops. I've been satisfyingly busy but also sometimes covet a day to pretend I have no responsibilities or goals. We'll see.

ellie update

2010-06-25T09:26:00.000-05:00

My 120-lb Neapolitan Mastiff has a problem with dog aggression. Not good. She snaps at other people's dogs and forces them to hang out in a corner when they visit our house. With Taza it's worse. A few times I thought we were going to lose her. Last weekend, she picked up Taza (11 lbs) and shook her in the air. Now you see what I mean by "problem."

Luckily we're back in the United States of Everything is Available and Possible if You're Willing to Pay, and after meeting with six different dog trainers and behavior modification specialists, I think we've found a good solution. Surprisingly it wasn't the most expensive option, although this dang dog is getting pricier by the day (mango pit extraction surgery, international flights, etc).

Next week she will be boarding with a pack of German Shepherds and getting some practice in friendliness. Or at least socialization. I'm pretty sure that getting her at 3 weeks (yes, she was tragically pitiful) has something to do with her inability to be nice to other dogs. Then in late July we'll be joining a group class with both Ellie and Taza. By the end of this, I expect that Ellie will not only be non-aggressive but that they also will be super obedient. Yay!

That's what I'm hoping for at least. Every time I met with a trainer, I realized how well we actually do have it-- calm, people-pleasing dogs that seem willing to obey most of the time. I don't think we're very far off from what I'm looking for. We'll see....

new neighbors

2010-06-21T15:57:00.000-05:00

Couldn't be more excited about the new folks who moved in across the street last Thursday. They're a married couple about our age without kids and with two dogs, one smaller than Taza (Pomeranian) and one larger than Ellie (Great Dane). Ironically their Dane is named Nellie. They came over for dinner last night and we really enjoyed getting to know them some.

As I continue to pray for positive relationships in our own neighborhood, I find God opening new doors all over the place. It feels good. Besides just trying to be friendly, here are some of the plans I have for meeting people around here:

joined a gym 3 minutes away instead of the (cheaper) YMCA 10 minutes away
volunteering down the road-- Taza and I are scheduled to start "dog therapy" at the retirement home on Saturday!
we're hoping to repeat the neighborhood cookout in July
I'm attending my first book club tonight at the International House and hoping to make it Wednesday for Spanish Conversation Hour

Let me know if you have any good ideas to add to my list!

partay

2010-06-17T16:39:00.001-05:00

Tuesday night we threw ourselves a homecoming party. Really it was more to get to know better the new folks we've been running into-- hair stylists, coworkers, neighbors, etc. As we re-enter Charlotte and find our new lives here, Tim and I find ourselves pursuing different interests. One thing we definitely share is a desire to connect more deeply with old friends and branch out to engage in meaningful new friendships as well, particularly with people who aren't so much like us.

In the end we had 25 people show up for a low-key cookout. Nine of them were from our church, mostly people we met since we've been home and with whom we've been meeting biweekly for a book discussion. Of the rest, 13 were neighbors, 3 were college friends, and 3 were coworkers. We were thrilled to see them all.

The neighbors, really, were the most exciting part and the inspiration for the party to begin with (not to say that I don't love the other folks!). I've written before about our wildly fun next door neighbors, whose friends have recently moved in across the street. In addition to that crowd, we had a couple who just moved here in the fall from Atlanta and a Mexican family with 4 kids. Of course we were delighted to see the Mexican family at the party and get a chance to practice our Spanish (which is better than their English). The ecclectic and interesting group was everything I hoped for and a lot more.

As it turned out, we sort of had two parties-- one at 7, which included the majority of the people and the food. As those folks were leaving, the next door neighbor crowd showed up. It was a gift to have them at that point, when we could sit down and chat more about their lives and interests. They gave us a copy of their CD, which turned out to be the best white-boy rap I've heard (no, seriously, it was pretty good). They hung around until Tim kicked them out at 12. Sweet.

I've probably said more than enough by now, but in general, it was a super encouraging evening for us. We're so eager to dive in relationally right here where we live, and I think we're off to a good start.

*While I'm thinking about the neighbors, here's some neighborhood news to give you a picture of our street:

The Mexican family tried to raise rabbits to eat. They have about 6 domestic rabbits (black and white) that hop around the neighborhood, mostly in their own front yard. Unfortunately they say they can't seem to catch them. So long dinner, hello dog food. Honestly, watching these guys hop around is the highlight of my day.
Our next door neighbors invited another friend to live with them, but since they don't have a third bedroom, he calls the tool shed home. Way to be resourceful.
While walking around inviting people, we discovered that one of our neighbors is a dog groomer with two full-sized poodles. Can't wait to see if we can get a deal!! She has her screened in porch all set up as her dog salon.
Because most of our street is either rental properties or newly built fancy dancy homes, most of the residents are new. That makes it easier to make friends in one sense. I think we've been here the longest of everyone except one older couple with an angel statue in their front yard.

Hope to have more neighborly news later. I wish I were a columnist (or could write like one). Don't you think this would make some good material?

summer reading

2010-06-15T07:32:00.000-05:00

Books on my list so far:

The Soloist Steve Lopez
Outliers Malcolm Gladwell
Collected Works Flannery O'Connor
The God Delusion Richard Dawkins
The Quiet American Graham Greene
The Audacity of Hope Barak Obama
Island Beneath the Sea Isabel Allende
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest Steig Larsson
Jesus for President Shane Claiborne
Women, Food, and God Geneen Roth

Of course those are supposed to come after some serious work on my seminary courses. Bah.

summer job

2010-06-13T16:44:00.001-05:00

First produce of the year from my garden! It's part of my summer "job," which includes lots of reading, signing up for the gym, volunteering, and finishing up my two online seminary courses. I couldn't be happier.

Yesterday was graduation for my 13 seniors, all of whom walked across the stage and proudly took their diplomas. There were some questions and some last minute dramas, but in the end, they're done and there's no reason to look back.

Garinger. What an adventure. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to work there and so glad it's over. I got to see a new side of Charlotte, my side really, and learn about a population of kids that really need some support. I hope I don't forget about that soon. I have a lot of thoughts rumbling around about how to take make these lessons work for me. We'll see where they go.

last day of classes

2010-06-04T15:10:00.000-05:00

Today I gave my last exam (except make-ups).

Well I tried at least. When the kids were still throwing books and screaming at each other while I was trying to read the standardized test instructions, I lost my cool. For me, that doesn't mean yelling and cussing them out the way it does for some teachers. It means hyperventilating. I fled the room in a panic and was fortunate that the principal was in the hallway.

Three times in two months. Something is not right.

Is it really them or is it me? Hard to say. I wonder if my emotions aren't a little too close to the surface, perhaps an indicator that I'm experiencing more transition stress or reverse culture shock than would be easily apparent.

Several of my coworkers reminded me that I can't let the kids get to me and certainly can't let them see that they got to me. They say it in a friendly and consoling voice, and I know they want to make me feel better as well as give me advice. All I feel is frustrated that I can't do that. It doesn't feel like a choice over which I have any control. It just happens, often coming out of nowhere, and then I'm left trying to pick up the pieces. With all this practice, I'm getting the hang of that finally.

Off to the beach when Tim gets off of work. I think I deserve a vacation!

neighborhood

2010-05-28T19:43:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned yet that I'm obsessed with our neighborhood? It's been so good to return. As we drove down Central Ave. this evening, Tim made the point that we've got everything we need in one place--- the Honey No Grease Barbershop, a tattoo and piercings parlor, and plenty of antique stores :-)

We went by the Giant Penny (lowest end grocery store) to pick up our dog food-- 40 lbs of chicken necks. I was thrilled to discover this week that one of our school's top students works there. I touched base with her and with all the meat department guys tonight.

This is what I want: a life that takes place in one geographical location, where I work and shop and live and eat with the same people in an organic, community kind of way (I'm not sure "organic" is the right word there, but it feels good). I want to know my butcher and waiter and tattoo artist (kidding... no tattoos for me).

Speaking of neighbors, our next door neighbors (of tool shed party fame) are continuing to intrigue me to no end with their massive community of friends that come over all the time, their wonderfully surprising outfits, and the frisbee golf post-thing in their front yard. They hang out all the time outside, which means that we get to talk some, although the mosquitoes don't give me much of a chance to sit and while away the hours. I'm eager to get some Off and get to know them, or perhaps have them over for a drink or dinner soon.

today I

2010-05-19T16:12:00.000-05:00

only wrote 3 office referrals
called no parents (parents of those three have already heard from me plenty)
chased a student around the campus
looked at pictures of one student's one-year-old child
found out another student miscarried
got called a b**** a** teacher from across the room
got to speak in Spanish a lot
told several students how much I appreciate their determination and believe in their futures
enjoyed lesson planning in a quiet office after school

What a day.

Right now I'm sitting at my desk looking out the window at my eclectic and green neighborhood that I cherish so dearly. Taza is on my lap getting her snuggling in, and Ellie is lying on the floor chewing on her minty fresh rope. We're waiting for Tim to come home in 22 minutes from his job, which he is enjoying by the way.

Aaaah, a deep breath and I feel at peace. The fact that I get through these days is enough evidence for me that God is real, and getting through them still in a good mood? A miracle!

literacy

2010-05-12T17:19:00.000-05:00

A 12th grader smacked this down on top of my overhead projector today somewhere around the 8th time I asked him to please turn around, face the front of the classroom, and focus on Spanish. The 8 requests don't seem all that shocking, but this combination of spelling and handwriting definitely caught me off guard. I expect this from 1st graders, but not seniors.

The bottom line is that basic literacy is a problem in low-income schools, and it's holding kids back from success in every subject, not just English. It's a reminder to me to work on these basics. It's not just the ESL kids (spelling "cheek" as "chick") but every one of them that needs help.

bff

2010-05-12T14:30:00.000-05:00

Ellie has found her best friend forever and it's not Taza. You can read more about our amazing and generous friends and how they took Ellie in for the weekend (while we went to the beach) here. Love it.

In Ellie's defense, she doesn't always look that bad around the mouth. I'm guessing she had just finished a tasty rawhide.

tough news

2010-05-11T14:05:00.000-05:00

A student from my school was hit by 2 cars and died this morning. The scariest part is that no one seemed too surprised. They told me that it happens from time to time and then proceeded to recount one student who was shot in the chest two times and lived.

What does it feel like to be a teenager and not know if you'll make it to graduation, much less adulthood? It seems too hard, and I'm not sure what to make of it.

I didn't know quite how to handle the news in class. The students wanted to talk about it, but it didn't seem to be processing talk. More just gossip.

Who are these kids?
What do they need?
Can I offer it?
Do I want to?

I know God will show me more when I need it, but for now I feel confused.

employed

2010-05-10T20:35:00.000-05:00

I (Tim) am starting work tomorrow at Bank of America. A week ago I accepted a position as a Quality and Change Delivery Analyst and after a round of background checks and finger printing, I'm all set to go.

I'm really excited about this job. In many ways it feels like a gift from God. I first found out about the position in February through a friend and ever since I've felt that it would be a great fit for me and I'm thrilled that the hiring manager felt the same way. It's amazing to think that within seven weeks of being in Charlotte both Hannah and I have found jobs and they're the exact jobs we wanted while we were in Peru!

I'll be working at the heart of uptown Charlotte and taking the bus to work each day (which is awesome). In many ways the environment is a long ways away from Peru but it's interesting to think that my time in Peru, in many ways, prepared me for this position.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us. God has definitely answered some prayers!

p.s. If you're wondering what a Quality and Change Delivery Analyst does, I'll have to let you know. I have a general idea but it's a bit to vague to try to put into words. Hopefully I'll be able to communicate it better in a week or two.

work and mission

2010-05-05T14:54:00.000-05:00

Bad day at school today, and by that I mean that I didn't make it to my first class (8:45) before I was crying in the secretary's office and the principal offered to let me go home for the day. At least this time I knew how to handle the panic and kept my cool (ie, didn't hyperventilate).

Is the job really this hard? Maybe so. Sometimes I wonder if my fragility is more a part of reverse culture shock. When Tim came to pick me up, he reminded me that we're coming out of a culture (and certainly a school environment) where this kind of disrespect is unheard of.

As it turns out, it was a situation with an adult and not a student that set me off this morning. That's good in a sense, because it makes going back tomorrow a lot easier.

What is God trying to say to me? I had an interview yesterday for a fall position at a small Christian school. There are so many enticing things about working in that kind of environment, but the idea of losing the mission aspect of my current job leaves me a little sad. I want to make this work. I want to be successful in making a difference in the life of one child, one coworker, one parent. But if I'm hyperventilating twice a month and not making it to class, I don't see how that will be possible.

I have moments where I wonder if I will make it through to the end of the week, much less next year. My friend Jean reminded me when I started this job that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. So I guess the question isn't so much Can I? but Should I? and Do I want to?

Four or five more weeks. I can do this. The days are spiced with sweet moments of connecting with the kids, calling parents to thank them for the support they're offering me from home, laughing with coworkers. No morning do I wake up uncertain about what I can do to follow and honor Jesus that day. I'm grateful for a job and grateful for the chance to reach out to this small population of truly troubled kids for the most part.

Still curious about what the future holds and what God is trying to say in the present. Still coveting your prayers and love as much as I did through every trial in Peru. The mission is only beginning.

settling in

2010-04-29T14:44:00.000-05:00

It's been almost six weeks since we arrived in Charlotte. Things are beginning to fall into place at last. I'm sick with some American bug I hadn't seen in a while (mostly a cold). Tim finally got over his, which lasted 3 weeks.

This week we attended our small group, refilled the driveway with gravel, took the dogs to the vet, and made a chicken pot pie. All very normal for life in the US, I would say. In the midst of that, I'm trying to remember what makes my life worth living and how to keep my mind on things above, not on the grass in my yard.

Today I was reading about outsiders' view that Christians are hypocritical and how it basically lines up with reality. Like everyone else, we don't do what we say we want to do. I don't do what I say I want to do. My life doesn't always look so different from anyone else's.

What makes a Christian teacher different than any other teacher, particularly teaching in a secular school? I want to know, because as glad as I am for Jesus' grace, I'm eager to learn how to live a life empowered for holiness and radical faith decisions. I wonder what the students and other staff think of me and if the fact that I claim to follow Jesus plays out in my work and professional relationships.

I don't want to be a hypocrite, although I imagine there will always be people who could make that claim of me. I want to know what it means to follow Jesus and then to do it. I want my beliefs to make a big difference in my actions. And I'm curious to see how that will play itself out in the weeks and years to come.

success!!

2010-04-22T19:37:00.000-05:00

One week into my new and insane job. After Monday (my last post) I hyperventilated at school and seriously considered quitting. Nonetheless, it gets exponentially better every day and after 8 if them, I'd stay they're stuck with me for the next 8 weeks.

Believe it or not, today was actually good. For the first day yet, NO students written up and NO parent phone calls. I turned in my attendance, prepared my lesson plans, and still left school by 2:30! Are they getting the message? I think so, but no promises yet.

One month now that we've been home from Peru. Hard to believe. I'm grateful for this job and hope to have a minute to say more soon!

day three

2010-04-19T18:38:00.002-05:00

Assault. Sexual harrassment. 6 or 7 students referred to the office. About 25 parent phone calls. It has been a looooooooong day in a number of ways, beginning with the fact that I went in at 6:30 am and left at 5:30 pm. Nonetheless, I got all my work done and emerged alive. Tomorrow morning I will speak with the school police officer about pressing charges against one of my students. Keep me in your prayers.

Yesterday in church we sang the hymn This Is My Father's World. I tried to remember that today as I walked into the classroom. I don't have to cower in fear. This classroom belongs to Him and He put me there today to accomplish something.

This is my Father's world,
and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world:
I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father's world,
the birds their carols raise,
the morning light, the lily white,
declare their maker's praise.
This is my Father's world:
he shines in all that's fair;
in the rustling grass I hear him pass;
he speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!

Let me say too that despite some of the odd incidents today, each day is better than the last. The majority of the students are getting the picture that I'm not here to mess around and that they'd better get to work. I appreciate their willingness to do that and am hopeful that I can soon provide a safe, productive, positive learning environment for them.

school math

2010-04-16T17:08:00.001-05:00

Time I have to sign in: 6:45
Time it takes to drive to work: 2 minutes max
Cell phones collected: 4
Attempted parent phone calls on first day: 17
Parents reached: 6
Times I almost cried in class: 1
Times I did cry at home: 1
Time teaching my first day before the first student was sent out: 3 minutes
Total students: 69
Black students: 37
Hispanic students: 21
Asian students: 6
"Multi" students: 3
White students: 2
Number of boxers I've seen: too many to count
"Good" kids I've encountered: a majority

I will be working for my paycheck this month! This is no cake walk (mmmm... where can I find a good cake walk these days?).

This is the kind of school where they send Teach for America teachers (college scholarships in exchange for teaching at America's lowest schools). This is the kind of school that foreign teachers end up in when they apply through "work in America" programs. This place is tough. It's totally like in all the teacher movies, except don't expect me to work any of those miracles in the next two months.

Nonetheless, let me say that it has gone better than my first year teaching and better than when I had to take over another teacher's classes in the middle of the year (2006). Is it me? I'm not sure. Could also be the small class size. It doesn't seem like attendance is a high priority for these kids. I just keep remembering that I've been through a lot worse than this. It's proof to me that I can make it.

They've asked me a million times why I came to teach here, and I get a chance to tell them about my passion for compassion, for working with Latinos, and for teaching. They're curious about my background, my experience, my life. It's the first time I haven't had anything to hide from my students (even if before all I had to hide was my age and lack of experience).

I'm trying to remember as I battle through these days that I'm an ambassador for Christ, Profesora Murray on a Mission. I go with His strength and His purposes, to love every person with a supernatural capacity for mercy and grace. I'm pretty sure some of my students don't see that yet! But I know that within a month things will calm down some.

On a positive note, I want to report that the ESL teacher (from Spain) and all of the Hispanic students assumed that I was a native Spanish speaker after talking with me! The students in particular just kept asking more questions to try to figure out why in the world I speak fluently. Where are you from? Yeah, but, where were you born? Yeah, but, where are your parents from? What?! You're American?As you can imagine, I'm floored. Way to make my day. I've been working on learning Spanish for half of my life, and I'm so happy to know that it's showing.

carolina chocolate drops

2010-04-12T11:01:00.001-05:00

I think I heard about this band at the infamous toolshed party a week ago. Now I find out they're playing at the Neighborhood Theater on Friday night! Tim will be in Austin visiting Phil and Christal, but basically I'm going to this concert whether I can find a friend or not! I'm super excited. If you're in Charlotte and free, let me know. And regardless, you'd better check out this fascinating YouTube video.

friday night live

2010-04-09T16:48:00.000-05:00

I officially got the job this afternoon! I'm starting next Thursday as the one and only foreign language (Spanish) teacher at the Garinger Business and Finance School.
The pros: close enough to walk or bike, normal schedule, two decent paychecks, an opportunity to do what I love, a chance to love and discipline tough kids, meeting new people (coworkers) in Charlotte
The cons: tough kids, it's only two months, no benefits (bah)

We bought a car yesterday and a washer and dryer today. Busy! Both are pre-loved, and I think they will be good solutions for us. Mostly I'm just glad to be done stalking Craigslist.

Yesterday we had a consultation with a dog trainer. Our dogs just don't have good enough manners for Charlotte, and we're looking for some help. Not sure yet what we'll do, but I did learn that Ellie has some dominance (but not aggression) issues. Immediately this morning I started correcting her every time she did something I didn't like, and I have seen an instant change in her. I'm not kidding. I think she just needed some structure maybe. We'll see where that goes.

Got my hands on some rhubarb, and Tim made a strawberry rhubarb pie yesterday! Wowsers! The US has some awesome treats.

By the way, here are some good people I've run into recently in Charlotte:
Used appliances: JS Appliances 704-719-6600 (Call ahead or you'll never find it. It's sort of a sketchy location, but the appliances were good if you're willing to go! He buys them from foreclosed homes.)
Mechanic: Charlotte Star Service, 4225 Monroe Rd. 704-332-4111 (they specifically service Mercedes and BMWs)
Consignment stores: JLC Wearhouse 1117 Pecan Ave, JT Posh 2400 Park Rd. Suite 2-A, Consign by Design 739 Providence Rd., Men's: Revolve 339 Circle Ave Suite 1
Alterations: Anna's Alterations (already knew about this and LOVE it)

Any one know a good but inexpensive dog trainer in the area?

morning walk

2010-04-07T07:54:00.000-05:00

This morning on my dog walk I met a family waiting for the bus, ran into Jessica walking with her dog Lucy, and said hello to Mark as he ran by. That's what I'm looking for as I seek to create a life more central to where I live. I want to see people I know and know people I see. I want to live in a place where people are outside and talk to each other, where my neighbors aren't so far away that I can avoid chatting when we're both getting out of our cars.

I missed that about Pucallpa before I left even. Our sweet little next door neighbors were so close that the 2 year old twins would stand in their window in the morning and greet me as I sat on my couch in my own living room reading the Bible. When Tim sneezed, they laughed. Just a few steps further away were our friends Marshall, David, Rachael, and her David. Plenty of people to borrow eggs from, catch a ride with, and run to when we need a listening ear.

I'm blessed still to live in a neighborhood where that's a possibility. Two ridiculous dogs are helping us make friends, but in general it's a pretty friendly place. It's fun to be on a street with people speaking all kinds of languages and paying all kinds of mortgages and rents. I appreciate that our community walks places, and that there are places to go nearby. I'm not sure how I feel about gentrification in general, but for now, I'm enjoying how eclectic our neighborhood is.

jobs and other news

2010-04-06T12:57:00.001-05:00

I mostly got a job! There are a few pieces of my application that need to be completed for HR to officially offer me the job, but the principal at a nearby high school asked HR to hire me as an end-of-year Spanish teacher. I don't expect that this will be an easy 2 months, but I'm happy nonetheless at the prospect of having a normal schedule and getting a normal (ish) paycheck. It's been a long time. More about the specific job/school when it's official!

In other news...

It's 80 degrees in our house and feels perfect to me. I wouldn't dream of calling this hot. On the other hand, I'm a little nervous about August if this is what early April feels like.
Tim had a pre-interview this morning for a possibly good job. I actually haven't gotten to hear yet about how it went (other than "well"). Please pray for the next steps!
The dogs are adjusting well to being home, but I got some dirty looks today when Ellie was wandering peacefully around the local playground. I asked my friend about it, and she confirmed that big dogs off leashes aren't really kosher.
I washed a car for the first time ever this morning. Then I got on a roll and started washing the shingles and posts of our house. Spring cleaning!
We're hoping to buy our own car this week and have some good leads. Maybe I'll have something to report there soon!
I made baked sweet potatoes and ratatouille for dinner last night. When we sat down to our first me-cooked meal since we got here, it felt so normal. Amazing how long (and wonderful, really) 3 weeks without cooking turns out to be.
Tim bought me Easter tulips, and they're brightening up my whole life from the dining room table.
We went by Gordon Conwell (seminary) yesterday to pick up books and get me ready for summer classes. I'm really excited about some of the courses that are being offered this summer!
All the new (to us) folks at our church have been super gracious and welcoming. I'm really excited to get to know many of them and am hopeful for making meaningful new friendships.

party in a toolshed

2010-04-05T06:45:00.000-05:00

Met a couple of ironic white rappers, a cute girl who kissed my hand, and Dylan the whippet. Discussed jewelry making, professional DJing, and the perfect mashed potatoes. Learned that underwear can be an accessory. Drank beer from a can. Came home, put on my Lilly Pulitzer pajamas, and went to sleep.

If I ever wanted to meet people who were different than me (and I do), I did it last night!

relationships

2010-04-04T20:47:00.000-05:00

Blogging time seems to be scarce, so I'll take this 10 minute window to mention what's going on with us tonight.

Both Tim and I have a huge desire to connect more with people in Charlotte than we did in the past-- deeper relationships, friends that aren't necessarily like us, especially people in our neighborhood. As I looked at my to-do list the other day and saw that it was mostly people I needed to call or email back, I realized that I'm not making relationships a priority in my schedule. I want to bring my schedule and my values into agreement.

This weekend has been good for that. My brother came to visit last night and today, which was super fun. Hanging out with him is always so low-key in a great way, and I like showing him around my life. Plus his awesome dog came, too.

Friday night we hung out with my friend Julie (from Davidson) and some of her Charlotte folks. Taking social risks (like going to her house when she's the only one we know) is not really my strong suit, but I'm so glad we did it anyway. I really enjoyed reconnecting with her and meeting some of the people she loves.

Tonight we had dinner with Thadd and Laura, friends from our cross-cultural training who are now in Charlotte after 2 years as missionaries in Germany. What a gift to spend time with others who are going through what we're experiencing and understand the ups and downs, ins and outs.

Getting out of our car in our driveway just now, our neighbors invited us over for a little party of sorts in their backyard. Bed is calling my name, but I had just asked Tim this afternoon how he thought we could get to know these guys. They beat me to the punch. I'm glad for the chance, even if it means delaying my date with my pillow.

So off we go to chill with the neighbors. Pray for us in particular as we seek to meet new people in our neighborhood and share our lives. And let me know if you have any wisdom or ideas for me!

a local christian foundation

2010-04-01T18:04:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night we had the privilege of attending a vision dinner at Carmel Country Club for a local Christian foundation in Charlotte affiliated with the National Christian Foundation. You may remember NCF if you knew Tim in 2006 or 2007, because it's about all he could talk about for those two years. The dinner Tuesday night was held to present the idea of a locally based and focused "chapter" of NCF that would encourage philanthropy in Charlotte and help fund local ministries. Pretty exciting.

As we expected, we were the youngest people in the room by 5-10 years. It was largely a gathering of Christian financial planners and big givers, coming together to dream about how to make a difference with their money and lives. I think I had forgotten the passion for transforming Charlotte that was brought to the table on Tuesday night. What a blessing to be part of this evening and be reminded of my calling not just to the world but to my own community.

Ron Blue, the founder of NCF and a noted Christian leader in the world of finances, spoke on the way the biblical story of Nehemiah gives light to this calling to a city. He mentioned that we need to be "out there" far enough to experience some fear. I'm reminded as I write of one of Tim's tee shirts that I folded this afternoon that says "Confesso que vivi -- P. Neruda" (I confess that I have lived -- Pablo Neruda-- and I think it's in Portuguese if you're wondering why I spelled my Spanish so poorly!). I want to come to the end of my day and the end of my life ready to say that with confidence.

How can I use my time, my talents, and my treasure to make a difference in Charlotte? How can I contribute to the growth of God's kingdom here? How can I reach out in compassion to people with deep physical, social, spiritual, or financial needs? I'm not sure, but I'm glad for the reminder to ask the questions.

As a side note and an update, I had two interviews yesterday at nearby schools that serve very low-income kids. I'm hopeful and also heartened, if that's a word. These are tough student populations, and I know that kids who haven't eaten since yesterday's free school lunch aren't necessarily going to be the most motivated to talk about conjugating verbs. That's okay with me. I love teaching but I know it's only valuable because people are valuable. I hope that my offering can make a difference in their lives.

going green

2010-04-01T17:43:00.000-05:00

I mentioned before that I was surprised by the degree to which America has "gone green" in our absence. I'm not exactly sure what to think, because I imagine that part of this is a passing trend and that much of the propaganda is actually aimed at increasing consumption (sneaky companies). Nonetheless, I've been challenged as I consider my role in caring for this earth that God put me on.

With that in mind, we've been doing "green" shopping-- not buying energy efficient appliances per se but hitting the consignment shops, thrift stores, and yard sales. It's exciting to think that instead of buying new things that increase production and therefore pollution, we can give new life to cast offs. So far we've picked up a couch, some awesome jeans, a salad spinner, and about everything in between. While some of this shopping may end up as a waste of time (and gas!) for people who have most of what they need, it's pretty productive for us as we look to restock our wardrobe and home.

I'm looking forward to a spring of yard sale-ing as well as a new season of prayerfully considering the decisions they make and what God would want from me in the details of my life. Let me know if you have any ideas or guidance!

what's new

2010-03-28T07:03:00.000-05:00

My interview last week for an end-of-year Spanish position wasn't an interview per say because the principal can't do interviews until he has "the list" from HR. Hopefully this week I'll be back for a "real" one. I did schedule an interview with another principal for a job starting in the fall. It's hard to know how confident or not to be about all of this. Honestly, I feel like I'm extremely qualified, but then again, all of Charlotte seems to be hurting economically and I just wonder....

Everyone we talk to has been laid off or had financial set-backs at work. It feels dark in some ways, but no one seems too disillusioned by it actually. Maybe the shock has passed.

Pobrecito Timoteo is sick with the worst sore throat of his life. We bit the bullet yesterday and splurged on a whole slew of throat remedies: lemons and honey for tea, other tea, special throat lozenges, regular ol' Halls, salt for gargling salt water, zinc tablets. I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

Charlotte is feeling surprisingly normal. Every time we sit down for a meal with someone, it seems like it has only been a few months since we were last in that same spot. I love it. What I really love are my friends. It has been so good just to be with them. I don't think I realized how much I had missed that. Two and a half years is a long time.

My mom and brother came to visit this week, too. It was such a blessing to have help setting up my house, and sitting down for dinner with the two of them felt right. I'm hopeful that both of them can be frequent weekend guests in the years to come!

Our neighborhood is continuing in its process of gentrification. They are knocking down little houses and building monstrosities, but they architects seems to be doing a good job of keeping the same bungalow-type style. It's actually not that bad. And certainly good for our house value. It's been fun getting to know all of our old haunts and new ones, and I'm looking forward to getting to know my actual neighbors soon. They're all new people since we left (mostly renters on our end of the street).

We've hit Chick-fil-a (a little bit of a disappointment) but are trying to hold off on indulging in all our old favorites. People from our church have graciously been providing meals for us, and I'd say we've both lost a few pounds in the last week! Definitely a surprise. I think it's partly because we're too busy to snack.

Off to church in two hours. I'm seriously intimidated. It will be the first time seeing so many people after our long adventure in Peru. How many times can I say, "Oh my gosh! It's so good to see you!" Of course I really will mean it, but still.... The other scary part is that I imagine a good chunk of our congregation (including our pastor) is new. We have a lot of new friends to meet. Whew.

Enough updates for now. Still busy, busy, busy and hoping things will calm down this week so that I can digest what's going on.

groceries

2010-03-28T06:34:00.000-05:00

Goodbye, Harris Teeter! I have two new favorite grocery stores since returning to Charlotte: Trader Joe's and the Giant Penny. They couldn't be more different, but I'm pretty stoked about both.

I suppose many of you already know about Trader Joe's. While we were gone it moved into Charlotte and won the hearts and wallets of all our friends. And now mine. As if it weren't cool enough already, let me tell you about their customer service.

My mom and I went in the other day, and she picked up about $30 of groceries. When we left, we realized that Tim had the car keys in a nearby store. We tucked the groceries under the the front of the car and we went to go find Tim. When he returned 5 minutes later, they were stolen! Can you believe it? I hope it was someone who needed the food badly. When we went in to ask at Trader Joe's customer service if perhaps someone had turned in some groceries (yeah, right), they offered to replace them!

The whole thing was probably a good lesson for me. I definitely did not think putting the groceries under the car was a good idea, but I tried to tell myself that I was being paranoid and unreasonable after living in a culture with more delinquency. It appears that was not the case. Note to self: Charlotte is not a utopia.

So on to the Giant Penny. This place is an independent grocery store 1 mile from my house. It's the kind of spot that has a sign on the door about not allowing concealed weapons or bicycles inside. And it sells Hannah's Pickled Pigs Feet. We went in search of chicken feet/backs/necks for dog food (they're on a raw food diet because of Taza's allergies-- look it up! very interesting!). If anywhere in Charlotte would sell them, it was sure to be the Giant Penny!

Lo and behold, the Giant Penny was overflowing with weird animal parts. Chicken feet turned out to be prohibitively expensive-- $1.69/lb.-- since our two doggies consume almost 3 lbs. a day between the two of them. Backs and necks were a steal, though, and after chatting with the butcher, we worked out a great Giant Penny bargain. Yesterday I went and picked up a 40 lb. box of chicken backs for $20. That gets Ellie through 16 days of raw chicken goodness and lands our dog food budget at about $45 a month (roughly the same as in Peru). Pretty good for 145 lbs of doggies! Oh, the Giant Penny. Just make sure you lock your car when you go in.

busy week

2010-03-26T22:14:00.000-05:00

Here's what we've been up to in the last few days:

beginning to unload some storage stuff
visiting Trader Joe's for the first time (love it!)
scoping out the estate and yard sales
eating some delicious chicken chili from Mark and Jess
bundling up on an air mattress
organizing our kitchen with my mom (thanks!)
preliminary interview for an end-of-year job for me
seeing friends
learning to drive again

So far so good. I'm busier than I ever expected to be but having fun. I keep waking up early and not being able to get back to sleep because I'm so excited for the day! Hopefully that will calm down soon because I'm getting very sleeeeeeeepy.

The number one thing I've noticed over the last few days is that America has become obsessed with organic and green. Two and a half years ago all of these organic/green products weren't available, and those weren't the key words for selling any and everything. It's good to see this evolution, although I'm curious to see what happens next.

More stories to tell but I'm exhausted. I hope this schedule will slow down soon so that I can do a little more processing.

charlotte

2010-03-23T08:53:00.000-05:00

We're home! We left the SAM guest house in Lima at 6 am Sunday morning and arrived at the Finks' house in Charlotte at 2 am Monday morning. There was some inclement weather in there and for a moment we thought we might be stuck in Ft. Lauderdale until Tuesday (today). Whew.

It has been so so so fun seeing our friends and their children, and I know we have many more great reunions in the next few weeks. Outside of the house is a little weird-- gray, cold, quiet, vast-- but inside is warm and wonderful, full of catching up and thinking forward, 2 year old smiles and hot showers.

From the delayed planes, serious turbulence, first Target trip, and long to-do list, I've been filled with peace and hope in a surprising way. I know you must be praying for me because this is so far from my normal reaction. Thank you. I feel like I am riding on grace.

By the way, keep praying! Both for our emotional state in this transition and for our jobs. We both have interviews on Thursday that we hope could lead to employment. Mine is actually for a new opening as an end-of-year Spanish teacher at a nearby school.

More later, but I'll leave you some highlights from my "what I've noticed" list:

an apologetic waitress
lots of Vera Bradley and Coach
big napkins
ethnic diversity
automated everything
it's freeeeeezing!
big houses far apart
9 kinds of Brita pitchers to choose from (I gave up... I'll have to come back to that another day)

hi from florida

2010-03-21T16:13:00.000-05:00

Here we are in the Ft. Lauderdale airport, waiting at Chili's for some lunch/dinner. Ironic because Lima is covered in Chili's. And because I don't even like Chili's. Anyway, I'm sure it won't be the first anticlimax.

My dad told me to make sure I write down all the things that stick out to me at first before they start to be normal again. Here's what I've noticed so far: Americans are really funny. All day long people have been making witty comments all around me. They seem happier, which surprised me. Maybe it's just a perk of working in an airport? :-)

We had a little hiccup going through customs and almost got some notation on our passports about contraband. Eek. Other than that no problems (and that one worked out fine actually). We still have to fly to Atlanta and then Charlotte tonight. Miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.

paragliding

2010-03-20T23:24:00.001-05:00

Here's how we celebrated our last day in Peru! I've seen others paragliding over this particular area of the coast for years and have always wanted to go. So glad I did. It was relaxing, beautiful, and not at all scary.

We also got to share meals with our Lima friends-- both JJ and Amber and John and Heather. They have been a huge support to us and dear friends over the last two and a half years. I'm sad to leave them behind and am scheming now for how to make it to Syria (JJ and Amber's next embassy post) and California (John and Heather's US home) in the next few years.

Leaving for Ft. Lauderdale in 9 hours! See you soon!

one last morning in the jungle

2010-03-19T04:44:00.000-05:00

Still dark outside. Tim just took Ellie and Taza off for their flight to Lima, where Continental will check their crates and make sure they're ready to fly on Sunday. We're leaving at 3 pm.

It's been a tough few days, partly because of the stress of moving to another continent and world, but mostly because we're sad to leave our friends here. One thing that has caught me off guard is that they seem to be making a big deal out of us leaving (mostly involving feeding us lots of sweets!). Since we've only been here since last July, I didn't expect that. I'm glad they did. I think their attention and intention is helping me to process better. I need to know that this is a big deal, leaving these relationships as much as this place.

This bed, these floors, this sunshine-- they've all become so familiar to me. I wonder if "home" will feel like home or if it will be another new place to explore and adjust to. Two and a half years doesn't seem like all that long, but I know we are not the same people we were when we woke up early on Halloween to haul our life belongings to the airport and set off for an exotic adventure.

Tim laughs about how he's getting old (at 28). He played Ultimate Frisbee a few weeks ago and nearly left crippled. He says his body is tired. I don't see that, but I do see a new maturity in him that has grown deep and wide, a new passion for people and God, a new clarity about who he is and what he wants in life. If you talk to him long enough to listen, I think you will be surprised.

What will be the joys and struggles of the next week, month, or year? Where are we going? I don't know. I've spent half my life waiting and working for this season that ends today. Now what? Everything I dreamed of doing in my life is done. I'm 28 and have a long road left ahead of me. I'm never felt lost before, and my mind (if not my heart) knows I'm not now, but it's strange not to see beyond the curve in the road.

[One more jungle cockroach killed. Millions to go. Nope, I won't miss that.]

This week I find myself meditating on Psalm 138:8--

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Do not forsake the work of your hands.

I love that it is an affirmation but also a prayer. Sure, but still not. I'm glad to know that God has purposes for me even when I don't know what they are. And I'm glad to know that I belong to Him. I commit my life and spirit into His hands, fix my heart on loving and serving Him, and trust Him to take care of the rest.

things I'm happy to come home to

2010-03-18T11:15:00.000-05:00

being 90 minutes from my mom and brother
Charlotte friends
Cantina 1511
the public library
the movie theater
being able to buy pretty much whatever I need or want (in terms of accessibility, not finances!)
having options like a dishwasher, dryer, and hot water
meeting my new nephews and baby Walt
my house
family vacations on Little Diamond Island
King of Kings
a fresh start
cool weather
clean floors
carpets

You may notice this list is shorter than the last (things I'll miss). I feel a little lost about going home right now. I'm sure it will be exciting when I get there, but today it just feels like a loss and an end.

Please keep us in your prayers over the next few days! Tomorrow afternoon we fly to Lima and then Sunday to Charlotte. There's plenty of stress to be avoided in that time.

things I'm sad to leave

2010-03-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

friends in Pucallpa
friends in Lima
speaking Spanish all the time
being in a place where I can live more simply (like without hot water)
cheap public transportation/ not having to drive
living inside a park
working with people who share my values and passions
cantaloupe juice
watermelon juice
guanábana juice
my juice shop and the folks who work there
knowing where to go to buy random things like pot handles or rolls of foam
seeing Shipibo women in town in their traditional dress
walking the dogs without leashes
pool weather 365 days/year
an economy where I can easily afford house help
apple bananas
slow-paced living
a relationship-oriented society
being away from the draw of consumerism
Wednesday night prayer meeting
knowing my neighbors (hopefully I can make that happen in Charlotte too)
generating less trash
tropical flowers and birds
being able to hang my clothes to dry
aguaje shambos (pumpkin pie popsicles?)
chifles (fresh salty fried banana chips)
buying $5 seconds of all the softest and most expensive T-shirts in the world
feeling like it's okay to "make do"
torrential rain

provision

2010-03-13T17:30:00.000-05:00

Andrew's visit couldn't have been timed more perfectly, and certainly not due to planning on anyone's part. I wouldn't have imagined that a visitor two weeks before our departure would have been advantageous (although since it was Andrew, I knew it wouldn't be a burden either). Nonetheless, I'm deeply grateful for the way it worked out.

Of course I enjoyed catching up with him and hanging out, but what I want to mention now is how helpful his presence was as we begin this transition process. Andrew lived in Syria for 3 years and has done this re-entry thing before us. It was so good to be able to hear about his experience and ask him questions about it, both the transition itself and in general how things are in the US these days (You have to pay for incoming cell phone calls?! What?!).

I know that when we get home there will be plenty of people who really aren't interested in my story. They'll hear me out as I mention that I've been working abroad 2.5 yrs, but that's about it. It was a gift to have a friend here who could both listen to that story and understand it.

It's amazing how God knows my needs and provides for them in the most surprising ways. I look forward to seeing more of that provision as we throw ourselves on His mercy over the next few months.

penguins and dune buggies

2010-03-12T22:51:00.001-05:00

Monday after the SAM Peru Field Conference we headed a few hours south of Lima with our friend Andrew for a daytrip to Pisco and Ica (where the earthquake occurred when we first arrived in Peru).

We first went to the Islas Ballestas, which they call the poor man's Galapagos. I believe it's the place closest to the equator where you can see penguins. The islands are one of the largest producers of guano in the world and are covered with thousands of birds and sea lions.

Afterwards we went to Huacachina, an oasis just outside of Ica, and spent the afternoon riding a dune buggy in the desert and sand boarding (or sand sledding in my case).

Penguins!

I wasn't allowed to drive

Andrew, showing his skills

Me, showing mine

Huacachina

andrew visits

2010-03-07T23:41:00.000-05:00

Our friend Andrew is visiting us and our mutual friends JJ and Amber, so we've been hanging out in Lima with the three of them this weekend. What a gift. Today we went down to Barranco for lunch, and something about being there seemed too good to be true-- sitting out on the deck of this super restaurant laughing my head off with good friends. Love it.

conference

2010-03-05T12:23:00.000-05:00

This week we've been in Lima for our annual SAM Peru field conference. It's always a great time to connect with others, hear about the awesome work that people are doing, and be challenged and encouraged by our keynote speaker (in English!). I love this community, and I love a scheduled time to get away for renewal.

Yesterday the women got together to share some about how they've been and what's going on in their lives. Lots of tears of course and great stories. When it was my turn, I had nothing to say. Is that possible? As much of a talker as I am, I promise, I couldn't come up with one thing to share. I certainly surprised myself.

As the conference comes to an end, everyone is digesting what they've learned and giving some responses to it. Me? I'm totally ashamed to say it, but I don't really feel like I've learned anything. Unusual to say the least. Part of me feels disappointed. Another part relieved, as if I don't have space right now to have a new breakthrough in my life.

People keep asking how I'm doing, expecting that I would be stressed out or excited or something I guess about our imminent return to Charlotte, stepping into an English-speaking country for the first time in 2.5 years. Nope. Nothin'. I feel neutral, planar. Not sad to leave, happy but not excited necessarily about getting home. I can't seem to answer questions about what I'm most excited to leave or get home to.

What the heck is going on with me? I'm happy. I feel close to God. I'm learning new things. I feel loved by the community around me (here and at home). Tim and I are in a great season of our marriage. I feel peace throughout-- body, soul, and spirit. Actually, now that I think of, what's wrong with me that this feels so abnormal?!

Emotional stability has never been my strong point, and that's okay with me. I'm grateful for the roller coaster of tears and laughter, the way it makes me cling to the Lord and know Him deeply. I receive my passion and tenderness as a gift from Him and not a curse. I'm okay here, too, in this week where I'm surprisingly unmovable. Just a little baffled.

I wonder if this is some kind of denial about all that's about to happen, but honestly, after the last 15 years of introspection, counseling, and self-help books, I'm fairly self-aware. Denial seems unlikely given the total absence of hints about something underneath. Maybe God is giving me this season of peace in anticipation of what we're about to go though. Maybe I've already worked through a lot of it in the last 10 months in Pucallpa. Maybe there's another answer hidden in God. To Be Determined.

Keep me in your prayers as I seek to be present to what God is doing in my life!

making me think

2010-03-02T21:28:00.001-05:00

Recently I've been thinking a lot about hospitality, generosity, and being part of a community that loves and supports one another. Partly it's because we spent the weekend with our friends JJ and Amber, whose lives and words always challenge me in that regard. Also because of a few instances recently that reminded me that most people don't do crazy things like loan their cars out for 6 weeks.

Being part of a community that does just that has transformed who I am. It's a demonstration of the extravagant love of Christ already received. It's also a proclamation of detachment from things and attachment to heaven.

JJ sent us this video today. This guy wears his hair and lives out his faith in a way that is different than mine. So does JJ actually. I'm coming to appreciate those differences deeply as they stretch and grow me. It reminds me that I need people in my life whose strengths reveal my weaknesses and whose ideas and lives inspire me. I'm praying that God will open the door for relationships like that in Charlotte, too.

trials of many kinds

2010-03-01T22:29:00.000-05:00

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I ran into this verse again on Friday, and it brought back a flood of memories from late 2008 and early 2009. To say that was a hard season would be an understatement. God laid this verse on my life last November, and I clung desperately to its promises of redemptive pain for the next six months or so.

As I look back on those trials, I can say with confidence that the testing of my faith developed perseverance and that God stretched and grew me in maturity. Honestly I wouldn't do it again, but I'm glad for what I've gained. I think we've made a difference in our time here in Peru, but the biggest difference is the one God made in me.

food

2010-02-28T13:11:00.000-05:00

Food is undoubtedly a big part of your life. How much time a day do you spend eating, thinking about eating, planning to eat or what to eat, wishing you were eating, and wishing you hadn't eaten so much? For a person who loves food and cooking (me), that takes an even bigger chunk out of your life.

That reality makes me a little nervous when I read things like Philippians 3:18-19:

For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.

How much of my worship is directed toward food? How many of the decisions I make have to do with my stomach? It's a scary thought, and that's one reason I think fasting is an important practice for me. It's a reminder that food isn't everything.

My desire is that this Lenten experiment in simplicity will dethrone food in my life to some degree. I think it's okay to love making and eating food, but I'm interested to see what six weeks of quietness on that front would look like. If there were ever a hard time to make that happen, it would be these particular six weeks. Between visiting friends, attending our yearly SAM conference (meals provided) and returning to Charlotte, it's not really possible for me to follow a strict rule about food or fasting.

Here are some of the ideas I have for how to seek simplicity with regard to food.

drink only water
don't eat sweets
eat vegetarian
avoid processed foods
cook as simply as possible (without necessarily making it unpleasant to eat)
avoid richer foods
take advantage of what's already in the house
be content eating random groupings of leftovers

As I said, that's not something I could easily do during this season or something I feel called to take serious measures to make happen. So I'm pursuing that in my home and setting it aside when it would be more appropriate. Since this is my Lenten discipline and not Tim's, I want to be sensitive to his needs and desires. When we're sharing a meal with others, I want to be gracious and involved, not putting this above God's gift to me of a communal experience with friends. You get the idea.

In the end, I don't want food to be my god. Nutrition is important, but food is one of the most temporal things I can spend my time and money on. I want to try to keep that in perspective. We'll see.

simplicity as an antidote to consumerism

2010-02-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

How can I practice simplicity as an antidote to consumerism? Since we're leaving Peru and resettling in Charlotte during this Lenten season, I knew I couldn't make any clear prohibitions about buying things. There are too many unknowns. Nonetheless, I'm trying in general to avoid buying things until after Easter.

At least when we get home, I know that some of this will be more about putting off buying things than making less purchases. I'll still need a computer, new clothes, and some kitchen items, whether I buy them before or after April 4. Somehow, though, I think having two weeks at home before I dive into the mall will make my transition somewhat more sane.

There's something to be said for self-denial, too. In Pucallpa, there's not much worth buying, but every once in a while I find a knick knack I think I need. Last week my 2 "good" pens died on me. Honestly I panicked a little bit. How can I go 5 more weeks using ball point pens in my journal? Impossible! Just about every day since then I've had this itch to go find a new pen. What's $2? Then I look at my basket of 143 other pens and decide that there's something to be said for waiting. That doesn't make it much easier, though.

Yesterday we arrived in Lima and a whole new world of consumerism opened up to me. There's also this urge to take advantage of the fact that I'm here. I'm going to need a new bedspread for my guest room when I get home. Shouldn't I look for one here where it will be cheaper? As I thought about it this morning, I felt a little push to say no. Four days in Lima without shopping at all would give me more space for other things-- friends, rest, exercise, prayer. Those are the kinds of priorities I want in my life.

My friend Laurie sent me another Kierkegaard quote that she found rummaging through some old things this week. It's a good reminder when I'm tempted to abandon simplicity for things or food or the internet. "Busyness makes it almost impossible for an individual to form a heart."

What do I really need? Let the other activities and objects fall away. More than those, I want a heart, and I want to pursue God's heart.

rain or shine

2010-02-24T20:46:00.000-05:00

Where can I get some windshield wipers for these glasses?

I gave up trying to stay dry a while ago. Better to go ahead with my life and just change clothes as needed.

real simple

2010-02-24T11:49:00.004-05:00

One week of my simplicity experiment has passed. It’s been a new way to celebrate Lent and one I have enjoyed. I’m used to fasting being about following a rule (the most obvious being don’t eat), so this kind of unspecified self-denial is more ambiguous and requires more thought. The main areas I’m targeting to simplify and create more space in my life for God are computer use, food, and consumerism.

Yesterday Tim sold my computer, so that will certainly aid my efforts to use the computer less! It was an older used laptop that we bought off Ebay for me to use here. It’s about at its wits end. The battery, sound, and CD player no longer work. Tim was able to sell it in Pucallpa for about 50% more than it’s worth in the US, which means that I can get a very basic new netbook sometime at home (with all working parts!).

Anyway, I am computer-less for the foreseeable future and perfectly happy about it. This transition is not a time to make strict rules about how often or for what things I should use the computer, but some of my basic ideas about simplicity during this particular season are

to avoid general internet use and specifically reading blogs, Facebook, and news
to limit my internet use to email, writing this blog (which has become an essential point of reflection and communication for me), and looking up specific necessary things

Soren Kierkegaard wrote a book titled Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing. I’m holding that as the object of my Lenten practice, to pursue a pure heart that seeks to know and honor God only. Anything worth my time or energy should fall under that pursuit, right?

Truth be told, it hasn’t been a dramatically different week. That’s okay. I’ll be interested to see how the next five turn out. More later on simplifying in terms of food and consumerism.

a grateful heart

2010-02-23T14:31:00.001-05:00

Here's what I want to know: Why hasn't anyone said anything about this awesome photo of me with the little Shipibo ladies?! Getting this outfit was definitely the highlight of my month. My favorite part was convincing the women to be in the photo with me. It involved some translation of course because not all of them speak Spanish (or obviously English).

On another topic, I want to say how overwhelmed we've been by God's provision and your generosity already in this transition. I've been keep a quickly growing gratitude list in my journal about anything and everything, but here are a few of recent blessings related to our return:

We have been hugely encouraged by all your sweet notes telling us that you're excited to see us and that you're praying for our transition.
The Hoods have offered the use of their Volvo through May 8!! That means we have one big concern taken care of and will have more time to find a good permanent car.
The Finks have an air mattress that we an use until we get bed and and mattress out of storage.
A few friends have already indicated that they would like to give financial or other gifts to help us out.
The Eternal Church team from Fort Mill is going to take our luggage home! I know I've said this before (probably multiple times) but that's how excited I am. It saves us both money and the chaos of carting all this stuff home with us.
Tim sold our electronics (well, the ones we wanted to get rid of at least) today instantly to the people at the computer repair place. They sell for about 50% more here than in the US, so we can use the money to replace our tired electronics with better ones when we get home. Plus it means less baggage.
Several new missionary families have stepped up to buy all of our furniture already. I'm hoping we can have a successful yard sale our last week here for all the other stuff.
We continue to be encouraged in our job searches and grateful for all the good news we keep getting (although no jobs yet). Tim in particular is really enjoying all of the reconnecting he's gotten to do through job networking. Thanks to all of you who have been reaching out to him to help!
Some friends invited us over to dinner last night and prayed with us for our transition. What a sweet act of solidarity and fellowship!
I have been pleasantly surprised by my lack of anxiety through this process (so far). I have struggled with significant anxiety for 10+ years, so I don't receive this gift lightly. It's a tremendous blessing to me on a personal level and also practically since it frees me up to put my energy into making this transition as smooth as possible!

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33

final newsletter from peru

2010-02-22T18:13:00.005-05:00

Click here or on the image above to open a PDF version of our newsletter

All of our tickets are reserved and we will be arriving in Charlotte on March 21st.

I just sent out latest newsletter and thought I'd post it here as well for those of you that aren't on our mailing list. It talks a bit about what we've been doing in the last few months, what we've learned from our time here, our future plans and our coming needs.

We have an additional financial need of $5000 due to flights and transition costs. If you find yourself in a position to give we would appreciate your help. You may give online through SAM by clicking here and then on the donate button on the right side of the page or contact us directly about personal (not tax deductible) gifts.

Thank you all for your faithful friendship, prayers and support over the last 2+ years. Below are some photos that didn't fit on the newsletter.

We'll see you soon!

Tim teaching at the Alpha Training Conference

Traditional Shipibo dress with three Shipibo women

Hannah's very international Bible study (American, German, and Peruvian!)

elementary school Spanish class

2010-02-22T17:38:00.000-05:00

5 o'clock club

2010-02-22T09:28:00.000-05:00

I've been using part of my morning devotional time this month to study the Sermon on the Mount but haven't gotten past the Beatitudes (the very beginning). In the process I'm learning a lot about what it means to be part of the kingdom of God.

One thing that struck me last week came from Luke's series of "woes" that stand in contrast to the beatitude blessings.

Woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.
Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.
Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.

Take a look at that list from Luke 6: 24-26. That's pretty much everything we hope to attain in life, you know? Wealth, satisfaction, happiness, and respect! What's wrong with that? We know from the rest of Scripture that our standing before God doesn't have to do with being poor, miserable, and reviled. It has to do with trusting in Christ. So what's the deal with this bizarre condemnation?

My best guess is that it's about putting your hope in riches, material things, short-term happiness, and the praise of men. If that's where your hope and trust are, you will be disappointed-- if not here (and likely it will be here), then for sure at the hour of your death. Jesus's disciples hope in Him and will not be put to shame.

The most shocking of all of these to me was the last. Oh, how I long for all men to speak well of me! Surely it's not wrong to want to be above reproach! Particularly here in Peru, where many people know or guess that I'm a Christian missionary, I spend a lot of time trying to do the right thing to gain the respect of others and represent Jesus well. But Jesus Himself says that if all men speak well of me, I must be doing something wrong. I need a higher goal than gaining the approval of others. I need to put my hope somewhere else.

That's hard for me. I think I spend a lot of time trying to be "normal" and not stick out as a Christian weirdo. I've reasoned that if I stand out as different, it will turn others away from Christianity and reinforce the stereotypes people already have. As I look at the Sermon on the Mount, I wonder if I didn't make that theory up as a justification for my insecurity and fear. After all, Jesus never said I would (or should) look normal and people would always say good things about me.

What He did say is that Christians don't fit in; they stand out. If I'm living the life He calls me to, I will stand out-- sometimes in a way that brings God glory and sometimes in a way that brings me persecution. Maybe the two aren't always mutually exclusive anyway.

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. 2 Timothy 3:12

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

leaf cutters

2010-02-21T20:09:00.003-05:00

Here are a few photos of some leaf cutter ants I found destroying a plant out side of our house this morning. There are thousands of things guys around here and they leave paths all throughout our neighborhood where they've cultivated the grass and everything else.

one month away

2010-02-21T16:06:00.002-05:00

Today we did a trial run on packing to go home. The good news is that everything we want to take home fits into 5 bags under 50 lbs each (plus carry-ons, instruments, dogs, and ourselves). The even better news is that some helpful people have offered to take a fair amount of that back to Fort Mill, SC (1/2 hr from our house?). We will be delivering most of it to them later this week when we go to Lima before our annual SAM Peru conference.

I am really looking forward to going home to Charlotte, but I'm not necessarily anxious to leave Pucallpa. I like my neighbors, the pace of life here, the missionary work that is going on all around me, my little shack in the jungle. I feel like I'm just getting into the hang of things here in Pucallpa and could definitely keep going. But it's also okay with me that I'm not going to.

Tim on the other hand is pretty anxious to get home in both senses-- super excited to be back in Charlotte and also stressed out. He's got a lot on his mind and on his schedule. In the next month he needs to finish some website work he's been doing for the Pucallpa Crisis Pregnancy Center and tie up a number of other projects he's in the middle of. He's looking for a job but doesn't have the time that he wants to put into that search. And he's a intimidated by the $5,000 or so that we need to raise to get home and cover our transition costs. So you can definitely pray for him!

One month from today we will be in Ft. Lauderdale I think, waiting for our next flight. Before that happens, we have...

this one last "normal" week
flying to Lima Thursday for a night out with our Pucallpa neighbors (who will also be in Lima)
SAM Peru field conference outside of Lima March 1-5
a visit from my college friend Andrew
a quiet Spring Break March 8-12 since most of our coworkers will be at the beach
one final crazy week of selling all of our stuff and saying goodbye

We will fly to Lima Saturday, March 20 in the afternoon and leave the next morning at 8 am for a long day of flights (Lima-Ft. Lauderdale-Atlanta-Charlotte). I think we get in close to midnight, and we pick up the dogs the next morning at the airport.

Is this real? Will we make it? Can I stay sane in the process?

Keep us in your prayers!

ten years

2010-02-18T20:49:00.001-05:00

Ten years ago tonight I was in my dorm room (Little 202) with Ashley, Lauren, and Sheila. I was overwhelmed by this sense that God was doing something new in my life. All week I had been praying that He would change me but knowing that those prayers were meaningless as I looked toward another weekend of carousing and shenanigans. What does Tuesday's devotion mean next to Friday's delinquency?

But Friday didn't bring the delinquency I expected. Out of nowhere, I woke up with a deep peace and an empowered desire to follow God, leaving behind anything that would hinder that pursuit. I had tried it before, and I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. As I poured a few bottles of liquor down the drain, I thought aloud, "If this is just another season of piety, I'm really wasting some good booze."

As it turns out, it wasn't a season. It was a new life. Some call it "conversion," turning from one thing to another. Others (including Jesus in John 3) call it "born again," referring to a spiritual birth. Still others describe it as "becoming a Christian," "giving your life to Jesus," or "accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior." Whatever it was, it started that night in Little 202, even without my understanding what was going on. I wouldn't claim today that I understand it either, but ten years down the road, I can at least put some words to the experience that has shaped the last decade of my life.

Most of all I know it had to do with giving up. I had tried so many times to be "good enough" for God and fallen flat on my face again and again. It just seemed that I didn't have enough self-control. The reason this time was different was that I stopped trying. I spent all week bemoaning to God that I wasn't good enough and never could be. That's where He stepped in.

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law, we become conscious of sin. But now, a righteousness from God, apart from the law, has been made known, to which the law and the prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ. Romans 3:20-24

For the first time I realized that Jesus thought of me on the cross, and that if I had been the only person ever to exist, He still would have done it. That central act of Christianity became personal for me. That's what "faith in Jesus" and "believe" are about. I didn't believe the Bible was true, I didn't care about Christian political "hot topics," and I sure didn't know much about righteousness, but I knew that Jesus's death saved me. That was enough.

He forgave me, despite all I had done and the depths of sin in my heart. He filled me with His Spirit and empowered me to do the good I wanted to do but never could sustain. In the end, it was true that I wasn't able to live up to His standards on my own, but living in His strength, I felt a new power for holy living. Paul said it this way: "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace" (Romans 6:14)

My experience was about surrender more than anything else. Honestly, it hinged on excessive drinking, as trite as that may sound. But the essence of my surrender was a lot deeper than that, and the results blew the top off my life. All of the sudden that "God feeling" that I had experienced before, His presence in a tangible way, was everywhere and all the time. My prayers were answered. I was filled with a new joy. My life had purpose.

I really expected it to go away after a month or so, but that milestone passed a long time ago. Somewhere along the way, I realized that it wasn't a season. It's a life. I still sense His presence here in the jungles of Peru and know that He will not leave me today, tomorrow, or ever. He answers my prayers. He fills me with joy. My life has purpose in Him. This is the first ten years of eternity.

But now that you have been set free from sin, and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:22-23

ash wednesday

2010-02-17T17:09:00.000-05:00

How do you recognize Lent? Today is Ash Wednesday, the first of 40 days of Lent and an opportunity to kick-start a season of penitence and fasting. My prayer book says it's about self-examination, repentance, prayer, fasting, self-denial, reading and meditating on God's Holy Word. Maybe that doesn't sound fun to you. To me it sounds refreshing.

My understanding of the seasons of the church calendar (Lent and Advent probably being the most famous) is that they provide an opportunity for us to remember different parts of our faith that we sometimes neglect and to engage in spiritual disciplines that we might overlook.

Giving something up (sweets, for example) during Lent is a pretty common practice where I come from. At the same time, it's easy to tend toward empty legalism I think, fasting for the sake of fasting without it being a means to know God more. Without God at the center, fasting is just a self-righteous diet.

So how can I practice fasting and honor Lent in a way that isn't self-righteous or empty? It's sort of a funny proposition because generally I think our fasting and spiritual disciplines are supposed to be a private affair. I understand Lent to be a little different, a time for the community of Jesus's disciples to corporately engage in repentance and fasting. Which is why I even dare to write about it.

For the first time in a while, I do feel pulled to practice self-denial this Lenten season. These 40 days coincide with a remarkably wild time in my life, and I sense I shouldn't practice any particular strict rule of fasting (or giving up one specific thing). In spite of this crazy transition, and maybe because of it, I'm setting aside now until April 4 (Easter) to practice the spiritual discipline of simplicity. In a way, I hope it will be a combination of little fasts-- from internet distractions, compulsive buying, foods that satisfy my wants and not my needs, media, etc.

More on that another day. In the meantime, I'd love to hear how others of you out there are marking Ash Wednesday and/or Lent. If you have a story to share, leave a comment or send me an email! I want to be encouraged by you, to embrace this season corporately. That won't be possible in the non-liturgical evangelical culture of Peru, but maybe some of you "back home" can help me out.

homeward bound

2010-02-16T21:27:00.001-05:00

Today we wrote a newsletter to let all of you out there (or at least those whose emails we have) know what's been going on and what's coming up. It's being proofread this week so you won't get it quite yet. Sneak preview: we're coming home. But you probably knew that.

I've been thinking a lot about our homecoming, which is less than 5 weeks away. I'm not worried about packing up, finding flights, or getting these doggies to Charlotte. Here are some things I am a little concerned about, though.

Consumerism. Buying more and more has always been a struggle in my life. Our time in Perú has been a respite from that, but I don't know that I'm any free-er from the temptations that I was before. I fear that when I get back to Charlotte, the desire to accumulate stuff will be worse, not better. Or at least feel worse after all this time with nothing worth buying in sight.
Beauty and self-image. Confession: I don't care what Peruvians think of me, but I really do (or at least did) care what Charlotteans think of me. Stepping into the sea of tall blonds in perfect outfits at Southpark Mall is nearly enough to give me a panic attack. What will it feel like to be somewhere again where I am comparing myself to everyone around me and coming out on the bottom?
You've changed. I love all of you and think I know you so well. What if I don't? What happens now that you have new values, new friends, new perspectives on life? What happens if I don't understand you?
I've changed. What happens if you don't understand me? And let's face it, you probably won't entirely. We've been through a lot of unique experiences over the last two and half years that have shaped and transformed us (for the good or bad remains to be seen I guess!). How can I relate to you now that I have new values, new fears, new friends that you'll never know, new ways of looking at the world?
Kings has changed. Our church is so dear to my heart. From the day I set foot in the door (the first week of Advent in 2000), I knew I was home. What happens now that my home has changed? This is probably one of my biggest fears. King of Kings is about as much of a "home" as I have, but in our time away the pastor has changed, people have come and gone, our role has changed, and probably a lot more. That's scary to me. What if you don't notice me? What if you don't care about me anymore?
The pace of life in the US. Do you want to know a secret? I take an afternoon siesta almost every day. I didn't the last three days and it hurt! What happens when I get home and am thrown back into the rat race, waking up early and staying up late, trying to get everywhere on time, fitting too many things in to one afternoon? Just thinking about it makes me tired.
Condemnation. No, I'm not afraid you'll judge me; I'm afraid I'll judge you. I hear about it all the time, missionaries returning from some other place and seeing US culture with condemning eyes. I don't want to do it. I want to love you and accept your differences, the way I love and accept the differences of people here. I know judgmentalism is my predisposition. What can I do to protect myself?
You won't have time for me. I love the way people here aren't busy and make time for relationships. No one is turning down an ice cream date or rushing out the door the minute you say "Amen" at the end of church. I'm scared I'll get back and you'll be too busy to see me, call me, remember me. I'm scared that your life is too full for me and that you have other priorities that preclude getting together more than once every six weeks.
We've missed your shared experiences. The coldest winter ever with snow on the ground in 50 states! America's first African-American president! A major economic crisis that left many of you struggling! A lot has happened while we've been gone. We've heard about it, but we haven't experienced it with you. Will we understand you without that?

So as you can see, there's a lot I'm concerned about. Not necessarily worried, but concerned. My prayer is that I will cling to Christ as I find my way through this transition, and also that I will be honest with my friends and family about my needs and struggles. Here's step one in honesty. Now you know (well, sort of-- I'm not sure a general blog post counts as being vulnerable).

top ten reasons (amber isn't) a limeña

2010-02-16T09:46:00.001-05:00

Our friends J.J. and Amber came from Lima to visit us this past weekend. In honor of their visit and because she's so darn funny, here's some cultural commentary from Amber, via Google Buzz. Thanks for sharing, Amber!

10. i think walking five blocks is a short distance.
when asking directions in lima one will often be told that the desired destination is "lejíííííííísimo" (soooooo faaaaaar). inquire a bit further and the actual distance will be no more than 3-5 blocks.

9. i respect standing in line.
if there is a line, i will take my place at the back of it and patiently wait my turn. i don't wait so patiently when someone cuts in line, as so often happens here.

8. i only have one last name.
latin-americans generally have two last names, one from the father and one from the mother, but the upper tier of elite limeños will often have four, five or even six last names, each of which calls attention to the respectability/richness/status of the named family and will generally proffer more/better opportunities to the one using them. last names are required for purchasing property in the richest neighborhoods of lima and are generally asked for among the upper crust of society as evidence (or lack thereof) of your social status.

7. i do not give money to beggars.
there is much poverty in lima, and i encounter people begging almost every time i leave my house. while this breaks my heart, i do not think my spare change is the best way to help them. i especially will not give money to children. babies and children are sometimes "employed" by beggars precisely because they bring in more money than adults, and i refuse to keep that child on the streets by reinforcing that sort of thinking.

6. i need about two feet of personal space.
peruvians need much less. when standing in line i often feel that the person behind me is "all up on my sack," to quote my husband. the same is true when walking toward someone on the sidewalk. my western mind says, "get out of the way as soon as possible." the peruvian mind seems to say, "walk as long as possible toward the person approaching you, only dodging them at the last moment by as little margin as possible. better yet, wait until they get out of your way."

5. i do not engage in gross (as in outlandish) displays of physical affection.
it is not uncommon to see couples engaging in what i would consider "heavy petting" in public parks and the like all around town. this may or may not stem from the fact that most of them live with their parents until they get married, and public areas are their only chance to engage in said activity.

4. i think the temperature in lima year-round is mild.
limeños, on the other hand, often refer to temperatures during the winter months as freezing (never colder than 60 degrees fahrenheit) and the summer months as insufferable (never hotter than 80 degrees fahrenheit).

3. i do not have a maid and i am not one.
in lima one generally falls into one of these two categories. we do not have a maid. i am not a maid. subcategories are: i do my own grocery shopping. i walk my own dog. i am the one to serve my guests drinks at my parties.

2. i do not like inca cola or chica morrada.
these are the top two non-alcoholic drinks of choice. inca cola is a neon yellow soft drink that tastes something like bubble gum and/or cream soda, and chica morrada is a kool-aidy, cough syrupy drink made from purple corn. when eating in a typical polleria - restaurant where they serve "pollo a la brasa" (delicious charcoal grilled chicken) - half of the restaurant will be drinking inca cola, the other half will be drinking chica morrada, and jj and i will be drinking coke.

1. i am blond.
in my year and a half spent in this city i have only ever met 2 other blonds outside of the expat community, and they were a mother/daughter pair. i will also lump into this category the fact that my skin is white - a white that my spanish teacher pointed out last week is "cien por ciento gringo" (100% gringo) - and i am taller than 5'5".

For my own (Hannah's) part, I'd have to say I agree with most of these. Of course I'm not a blond, and I will admit that I have someone come clean 4 hrs/week. Furthermore, the temperature in Pucallpa is not mild at any time of year! Nonetheless, it's amazing how similar an expat's experience is, in Lima or otherwise.

Amber says she's working on the top ten reasons she's become a limeña. If you're lucky, I'll think of a few ways I've become a Pucallpiña, or at least a Peruana. We'll just have to see how insightful I'm feeling this week.

happy valentine's day!

2010-02-14T08:45:00.003-05:00

It's Valentine's Day today, right? I don't think I have seen one indication of that here. That makes a husband's work much harder! He has to actually remember. I guess it's easier in some ways, too. A lot less hype and pressure.

As I was looking back over old photos of me and Tim, I was struck this morning with how different we look than we did six years ago. Since I looked just about the same from 16 to 26, that's a big surprise! Does this mean I won't get carded for the movies when I get back to Charlotte? We'll see. I definitely does mean that I'm seeing something like wrinkles around my eyes. I'll take it as a badge of honor and wisdom.

This morning I'm grateful for a day to remember the love I have in my life-- Tim, my family, friends here and there, and Jesus, who has loved me with an everlasting love and drawn me with loving-kindness. Little by little, the love all of you show me is breaking down the barriers of insecurity, fear, and shame that I erected over years to protect myself. I'm finding a priceless freedom and joy. Thank you.

Two reminders to carry you through the day, whether you are sharing it with a special someone or not....

Jesus said, "The first in importance is, 'Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.' And here is the second: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' There is no other commandment that ranks with these." Matthew 12:29-31

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Much love to you all, and may you rest in His love forever,

Hannah

friends

2010-02-11T11:21:00.002-05:00

Here are some of our fellow missionaries who have become dear friends! David was in Arequipa with us in late 2007 and early 2008. It's been fun to get to be his neighbor again here in Pucallpa!

Tiffany (left) and Becca (middle) are new teachers at SAM Academy, and Anne is a German translator for one family at the school. This is a photo from Sunday night (Super Bowl). Since I know nothing about football, it was good to have some friends around to chat with :-)

on a roll

2010-02-09T12:12:00.000-05:00

I've emailed my cover letter and resume to 21 schools in 3 days and already had one phone interview this morning. I got another response asking me to come by the school at my earliest convenience. I guess I wasn't clear enough about the fact that I'm in Perú. I won't be dropping by Charlotte for a while!

I have two major things going for me in this job search.

1. I'm an experienced and qualified candidate.

2. They're desperate.

The main issue at this point is whether or not I can find a open position beginning in April. Of course that all depends on "chance," or as I see it, God. I think my interview this morning went well, and I'm just waiting to find out if the other teacher is actually leaving in March/April or not.

Oh, teaching. I noticed one of my old high school classmates is working on a PhD in astrophysics (way to go!). Me? Oh, I'm applying for my old job, the one I was hired for in 2004 when I had no experience or education (in teaching). Am I moving backwards?

I say that, but really I feel deeply content with where I'm going in life and work. I am excited about some of the new directions in education that God is putting on my heart. Every year I sense more and more that teaching (whether in a professional capacity or not) is an integral part of my life calling. I am eager to develop that further and to see where it takes me.

job search

2010-02-07T11:44:00.000-05:00

Last night I sent my resume out to six CMS schools, and I already got an exciting email back this morning! It was from one of the new CMS mini-schools within a larger campus, and one that happens to be 1.1 miles from our house.

I had heard about this school right before we came to Peru and was very intrigued. It's super small, and from what I hear, they are selective about their faculty and have a great team. The student population is definitely low-income, which is something I'm pursuing this go-round since I consider ministering to people in need (whether in a religious sense or not) essential to my personal and professional calling.

When I emailed the school last night, I wasn't very hopeful for a year-end job or even Fall 2010 one, given their small staff. Great news! There's a definite possibility for a position beginning this spring, maybe whenever I can get back to fill it. We'll see what happens there, but I will say that I'm very hopeful.

Tim has had a similar situation with a encouraging start to his job search. He was able to talk to some friends in helpful positions and has already applied for a job that he thinks could be a great fit for him.

Overall we're just grateful for the heartening leads as we begin to pursue work in Charlotte. Whether these specific jobs work out or not, I know that this kind of job search excitement will help us stay dedicated and positive in the process. We are confident that God has specific jobs picked out for us, and we're praying that we will be sensitive to His voice as we seek to discern what those jobs are.

Please keep us and our job search in your prayers!

hanging out with the ladies

2010-02-06T19:26:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks I've been busy with women-only group get-togethers. I'm about 80% introvert, so sometimes it can be a little exhausting. Nonetheless, I'm enjoying getting to know both Pucallpiñas and fellow missionaries a little better.

My little English conversation group is growing! We meet every Thursday at 6 at Cocofruit, which is probably on my top 10 places I'll miss in Pucallpa. They serve amazing fresh juices and smoothies. This week I had a passion fruit/ pineapple smoothie. Yum! My other favorites are guanabana juice and cantaloupe juice.

The two new SAM Academy teachers came along, and we met my friends Evelyn and Elvira there. The third woman, Yvette, is gone on vacation, but we had two new people show interest this week. One is a niece of a friend of mine, who wants to get a job as a flight attendant and needs to practice her English more. Another is the owner of Cocofruit! We invited her to come sit down and chat with us next week.

I've started attending the Mil Palmeras (my church) women's breakfast on Thursday mornings. There are maybe 15-20 women who attend, some regular members and others dropping in to check it out. One person gives a small lesson from the Bible and we share a time of food and fellowship. I'm hoping to invite my (Chilean) neighbor next week. She's not a church-goer, but I think it could be a good way for her to connect with other women in Pucallpa.

Yesterday Amy, Olga and I got together to start the Beth Moore Esther study. I'm pretty excited about Esther but probably more excited to walk through the book with these friends every Friday morning. I think I could really get the hang of this stay-at-home-mom thing. Too bad I don't have kids yet and am about to move back into the 9 to 5 in Charlotte!

Even though it was a week and a half ago, I want to mention what a sweet get-together the SAM (and other) missionary women had at our women's prayer meeting. We got to hear from the four newest women about how they ended up here, and I for one was hugely encouraged by their stories. There's something about sharing our lives that spurs me on to pursue God more. It was definitely a reminder to me that even if I think I like holing up as a hermit, I have to push myself to get out there and drink in the riches of relationship.

two thoughts

2010-02-03T20:41:00.000-05:00

1. Is it possible that I'm eager for tomorrow morning to come so that I can get up at 6? Okay maybe it's not so much the getting up as what I get to do: dive deep into God's Word. So far the 28-Day Challenge feels more like a gift than a challenge. I brought home a copy of Kay Arthur's How to Study Your Bible for a refresher course in inductive analysis, and I've been mining the riches of the Sermon on the Mount this week. Awesome.

2. I'm reading Augustine's Confessions (again) for my church history course. Now that I've studied his life and am fairly familiar with his timeline, his Confessions make a lot more sense to me. For some reason this time, his battle with lust and sexual sin is really sticking out to me. Part of him wanted purity, but he found himself unable to resist temptation.

As I read about Augustine's internal battle, I instantly remembered my own ten years ago. I know what it feels like to sense yourself trapped by sin and unable to give it up. I had forgotten, but as I remember now I'm filled with a deep sense of joy and peace. I'll tell you the story in 2 weeks as I celebrate the end of my first decade pursuing Jesus. For today I'll just smile and be grateful.

prayer

2010-02-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

If there were a school of prayer, I'd be in the nursery still. Maybe it's the pride of self-sufficiency or maybe it's practical atheism. For whatever reason, I'm just not a good pray-er (by that I mean of course that I don't pray often, not that I don't pray "right").

In the past week I've been trying to use some of the "prayer tools" that I learned in 10 years ago. Two of the most successful for me are the ACTS acronym and Beth Moore's Praying God's Word. ACTS stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. It's a map to guide you through a time of prayer so that you don't forget some of those important parts. Praying God's Word is a book that categorizes Bible verses to pray for different challenges in your life. I've been using them together.

First thing in the morning when I'm trying to think of what to say to God in adoration, sometimes I'm a little stuck. Today I opened up Praying God's Word and read Scriptures aloud about how amazing God is. Several of them came from Psalm 145, so I turned there for some extra credit reading. Wow! I think I'll just stick to Psalm 145 for a while. There's a lot to digest. In particular this morning I was struck by verse 13: The Lord is faithful to all his promises.

Since I don't practice confession very often, sometimes I have a hard time getting going. Usually I like to pray out loud the confession prayer from my Book of Common Prayer. It doesn't take me long before I begin remembering more than a few things I can confess, and I revel in the last few lines about forgiveness in Jesus and a new commitment to obedience.

Most merciful God,

we confess that we have sinned against you

in thought, word, and deed,

by what we have done,

and by what we have left undone.

We have not loved you with our whole heart;

we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.

We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.

For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,

have mercy on us and forgive us;

that we may delight in your will,

and walk in your ways,

to the glory of your Name. Amen.

Didn't Oprah say something once about writing a list every day of 5 things you're thankful for? It's probably a good practice to keep you positive and humble. I've been working at this for a while. No need to stop at 5!

Supplication is asking prayer. Most of the time I think we start here and usually end here. It's good to ask God for what we want and need, but I doubt we'll have a very full relationship with Him if that's all when do when we talk to him.

So that's ACTS. My friend Jenny reminded me this week about listening in prayer. That's a definite weakness of the ACTS prayer, but one that can always be remedied! I want prayer to be a two-way conversation, not a list of things I have to tell God. It's a relationship, right?

monday morning

2010-02-01T12:53:00.001-05:00

A new day, a new week, a new month. As we draw closer and closer to the end of our term here, it feels like I'm getting into new routines. That's a relief, because the last thing I want is to spend all of February and March longing for Charlotte and feeling purposeless. I imagine God knows that and knew just the remedy-- keep me busy! Here are some of the new things on my horizon:

Teaching Spanish to the two new teachers at SAM Academy
Getting more serious about my English conversation class with a handful of local women
Meeting weekly with a few other missionaries to study the book of Esther and encourage one another as we follow Christ
Committing to rise early to meet with God first thing every morning this month

Of course I'm still teaching elementary Spanish at SAM Academy, learning about church history through seminary distance education, and trying to keep this house clean (if you only knew how time-consuming that is here!).

Here's what I haven't done since we came back from vacation almost a month ago: gone to the gym. Uh oh.

saturday nap

2010-01-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

28 days of purpose: will you join?

2010-01-28T17:21:00.002-05:00

Remember that church movement "40 Days of Purpose"? I always liked that little slogan. I'd like all my days to purposeful, but recently, not many of them feel that way. Either that or their purposes must be one of the following:

Read church history books.
Clean the house.
Sleep at strange hours and too many total.

Not really what I'm aiming for.

That's why I was excited to read about the two 28-day challenges from the Mahaney (etc) women on their blog. It's always good to have a little push from the outside. Here they are in a nutshell.

The 5 O'Clock Club: For 28 days, would you rise early to spend devotional time with God? Hint: it doesn't necessarily have to be 5 am.
AND/OR
The FAM Club: For 28 days, would you fast from one meal weekly to devote yourself in prayer to renewal in the spiritual life of a family member who doesn't have a relationship with God?

When I think about the first of these two challenges, Psalm 34:8 comes to my mind:

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

It seems like it's been a while since I've earnestly pursued intimacy in my relationship with God. His grace through the atoning death of Jesus Christ is enough to cover all of that, but his challenge is this. Taste and see. I think you'll like what you find.

So what I want to ask you is this. Anyone want to join in with me? I'd love to chase these goals in the company of friends or family, and I know it would be an encouragement to converse along the way about how we're growing and how we're enjoying His company.

PS If you need some encouragement, here are some collected stories from other women who have done this before.

The 5 O'Clock Club

The FAM Club

bits and pieces

2010-01-26T17:58:00.000-05:00

1. We had an tremor yesterday-- 5.8 on the Richter scale, with the epicenter 10 miles from here but 25 miles underground. It was definitely the strongest I've felt, despite the very frequent ones in Arequipa and even in Puerto Supe. Still mild-- nothing fell. It was the first one we've experienced since being in Pucallpa.

2. Much more dramatic is the situation in Cusco and Machu Picchu. Here's the update I got from the Embassy the other day.

The airport in Cusco is closed;
The train to/from Cusco and Machu Picchu has been cancelled since January 23 due to landslides;
The roads into and out of Machu Picchu are currently closed;
The Pisac bridge has collapsed;
The Huallabamba bridge is under water; and
There was a landslide in Oropesa en route to Puno, travel is limited.

This week last year my dad was in Machu Picchu and this week two years ago Tim, my mom, and I were there. Sure glad we had different weather! Apparently people are stuck all over the place and the Embassy is actually trying to get helicopters into the area around Machu Picchu to evacuate people. It looks like rainy season has arrived.

3. In response to a general plea from Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools for Spanish (and certain other disciplines) teachers, I wrote my resume and first cover letter this weekend. Super excited about that. First, I love writing. Second, this is the first time I've ever applied for a job that I'm qualified for! It made it about ten million times easier, and I'm feeling great about my upcoming job search. At the same time, I know that my future depends on God and not on my own qualifications. Pray that I would trust Him in everything and joyfully accept what He has for me next.

4. The SAM Pucallpa women are having a little shindig for the newest ladies tomorrow night. As part of that, Marilyn is compiling recipes to give them. I put together my 9 favorites of the ones I have bookmarked (and therefore didn't have to type up). Thought I might pass them along to anyone else interested, although I know some of them have made appearances on the blog before. Here you go. (By the way, the no-bake cookies may not actually be one of my favorites although they are pretty good. They're more for the one lady who has a wheat allergy.)

That's all for now.

weekend visitor

2010-01-26T15:01:00.000-05:00

love that thermometer

2010-01-25T17:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight the two new teachers at SAM Academy are coming over for Spanish lessons and pizza. Now that I think of it, I've never taught Spanish to adults. It should be fun.

I've been feeling a little weird all day-- somewhat physically but mostly in terms of mood. Finally I decided to take my temperature. Does anyone else have an obsession with the digital thermometer? Whenever I'm feeling bad, I like to take my temperature. If it's over 99, I definitely feel like it gives me the right to feel sorry for myself. Otherwise I just have to buck up. Of course Tim finds this whole scenario hilarious.

Anyway, I have a (low-grade) fever! I don't actually feel that bad, but knowing I'm "sick" erases any guilt about not wanting to sweep the floor for the fifth time today. So Taza and I might just sit in bed and read until my students get here. F. F. Bruce's The Canon of Scripture (for my upcoming research paper) or Martha Stewart Living? Well, I am sick....

Alpha Training - Part 2

2010-01-22T23:54:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I'm leading the second half of the Alpha training for pastors. I'm excited to finish up the training and to see how God will use the Alpha course in Pucallpa.

The two main focuses of tomorrow will be praying for others and how to best administer an Alpha course in Pucallpa. I plan to spend most of the administration training in a group, brain storming ideas and encouraging the leaders to think of how they can best adapt the course to target those that they'd like to reach.

Please be praying that it would go well and people would leave ready and planning to run an Alpha course.

church history to the reformation

2010-01-22T21:03:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I'm taking the final exam for my first seminary course, Church History to the Reformation. I've done the whole thing through correspondence of course and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. As a reflection for my own purposes, here are a few things I've learned:

1. The value of truth. From the Son of God to missionaries in hostile countries today, a lot of people have died for their convictions about Jesus Christ. I loved learning about the people who fought for doctrinal orthodoxy throughout the ages, and it makes me appreciate so much more the importance of thinking correctly about God. I will never look at the Nicene Creed the same way now that I see in it responses to all the diverging beliefs of the 1st to 4th centuries.

2. The value of Jesus. Those same martyrs' stories (Polycarp, Perpetua, and John Huss in particular) brought me to tears more than once. As I heard their last words and the way they responded to their persecutors, I was encouraged to love Him more. He is worth my life and everything else.

3. The positive legacy of the Catholic Church. In Peru more than anywhere, the Catholic Church gets a bad rap. I was glad to learn about the champions of truth in the Catholic Church throughout its history and to find specific reasons to appreciate this part of Christendom.

4. The ongoing call to reformation. It's interesting to see that Martin Luther didn't come out of nowhere. There were dissenting voices against ecclesiastical abuse, moral laxity, and doctrinal error from the 2nd century on. I'm looking forward to my second church history course and finding out more about how the 16th century reformers brought that tradition to a new level.

5. The "why" behind separation of Church and State. After seeing the way Western Christianity was completely corrupted by worldly power in the Middle Ages, I'm happier than ever with the American separation of Church and State. Want to take "one nation, under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance? You won't find me leading the revolt. I'm wholeheartedly convinced that what we forfeit for the sake of separation, we gain a hundred times back.

Wish me luck on my test tomorrow! Actually I'm feeling pretty good about it. Next week I need to write my research paper, which will be on something related to the canon of the New Testament since those are the only books I happen to have available here (actually "book"... there's only 1... plus a number of Google Books and other resources I found online). I'm hoping to start Church History 2 (Reformation to present) on February 1.

shipibo crafts

2010-01-20T14:21:00.000-05:00

There's a great little store on the Yarinacocha plaza that has maybe 20 stalls of Shipibo women selling their crafts. I'm not sure how it works exactly because the women seem to be operating together or at least helping each other out. Part of that is that only half of them (or so) speak Spanish. The rest speak their native language (Shipibo).

Tim and I went this week to buy cloths for a runner and placemats (not to be used together!) and had a lot of fun.The women always seem friendly and happy, and I love seeing them working on their crafts. These cloths are hand-tinted with natural dyes and then embroidered by hand. They're all different of course. I'm going to "mount" them on dark brown cloths to make a set of 8 table cloths.

You can learn more about the Shipibos and their handicrafts here.

summary of alpha training - day 1

2010-01-18T21:40:00.000-05:00

Saturday's Alpha training went quite well despite only having 6 people present when we began. Fortunately, in Peruvian fashion, more came and there ended up being a total of 16 people, a few more than I expected. One surprise is that 2 pastors ended up coming even though I couldn't get a hold of them and was told they were out of town.

Having never seen or participated in an Alpha course, the leaders can have a difficult time understanding the concepts. I think it can tend to be a bit abstract at times. To counteract that, I had about an hour and a half workshop time where we acted out a few different small group scenarios, talked about good questions vs. bad questions and practiced some of the techniques presented in the video.

I tried to focus a lot on the leaders answering their own/each others questions so that they will be better prepared to handle and think through the difficult situations once I've returned to the States. It went quite well and in the end they appeared to have a strong understanding of the concept and strategy of the small groups. Plus they had practice coming up with their own questions and reshaping them to help draw people out.

Next Saturday and I'm going to be spending more time talking about the administration of the course and how to best adapt it to each church's situation. I think it will be good and I hope people will leave ready to start their own Alpha course.

Thanks for your prayers. They were heard.

alpha training conference

2010-01-14T13:03:00.000-05:00

Part 1 of Tim's big event, the Alpha Training Conference for pastors and church leaders, is two days away. He's busy preparing in a million different ways, from meal planning to writing role playing games.

I'm still amazed that he's really doing it. When we arrived 2 yrs ago, he barely spoke Spanish. Now he's made contacts with dozens of Pucallpa pastors, arrived at something of an expertise in Peruvian Alpha, and mastered the language enough to be confidently approaching a fully day teaching in Spanish. Not bad.

Our desire is that this conference encourage and equip churches to implement the Alpha Course with their congregations or in their communities in the next couple of months. We'd love to see several Alpha Courses up and running before we leave Peru in April. Please pray for the conference!

1. For just the right participants. So far there are only 8 people coming. That could be really good, because training here has proved difficult, and less people might mean better learning with more specific teaching. At the same time, we want lots of people to run the course! We're trusting that God will bring the right people. Keep praying anyway!

2. For Tim's preparation. Pray for wisdom, discernment, creativity.

3. Language. Pray that Tim would speak well and communicate clearly.

4. That the conference would birth courses. Pray that people would put what they have learned into use.

5. For Tim's heart. Pray that he would be encouraged and positive.

snake charmers

2010-01-12T08:26:00.000-05:00

Forgot to post these in November!

something sensible from the new york times

2010-01-11T08:32:00.000-05:00

If my daily NYT email keeps me up to date on generally important news, Google Trends is often my window to nonsense news. It's this little list on my iGoogle homepage that tells me the top 10 Google search items of the last few hours. Mostly it's intriguing or hilarious. Anyway, that's how I decided to look up "Brit Hume" and found out about the whole controversy surrounding his pro-Christian comment on TV.

More than anything, the outcry over Brit Hume reminded me that I'm not your average American. Sometimes I forget that, living here and looking back romantically at my cultural home. I'm reminded that going home may not be so easy.

I was glad to see this Op-Ed column in my New York Times email this morning. It's not that I expect everyone in the US to share my views on faith, but I had hoped for sensible at least. The column was a reminder that mainstream "normal folks" might not be so ridiculous after all :-)

OP-ED COLUMNIST

Let’s Talk About Faith

By ROSS DOUTHAT

Liberal democracy offers religious believers a bargain. Accept, as a price of citizenship, that you may never impose your convictions on your neighbor, or use state power to compel belief. In return, you will be free to practice your own faith as you see fit — and free, as well, to compete with other believers (and nonbelievers) in the marketplace of ideas.

That’s the theory. In practice, the admirable principle that nobody should be persecuted for their beliefs often blurs into the more illiberal idea that nobody should ever publicly criticize another religion. Or champion one’s own faith as an alternative. Or say anything whatsoever about religion, outside the privacy of church, synagogue or home.

A week ago, Brit Hume broke all three rules at once. Asked on a Fox News panel what advice he’d give to the embattled Tiger Woods, Hume suggested that the golfer consider converting to Christianity. “He’s said to be a Buddhist,” Hume noted. “I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. ”

A great many people immediately declared that this comment was the most outrageous thing they’d ever heard. Hume’s words were replayed by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show, to shocked laughter from the audience. They were denounced across the blogosphere as evidence of chauvinism, bigotry and gross stupidity. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann claimed, absurdly, that Hume had tried to “threaten Tiger Woods into becoming a Christian.” His colleague David Shuster suggested that Hume had “denigrated” his own religion by discussing it on a talk show.

The Washington Post’s TV critic, Tom Shales, mocked the idea that Christians should “run around trying to drum up new business” for their faith. Hume “doesn’t really have the authority,” Shales suggested — unless of course “one believes that every Christian by mandate must proselytize.” (This is, of course, exactly what Christians are supposed to believe.)

Somewhat more plausibly, a few of Hume’s critics suggested that had he been a Buddhist commentator urging a Christian celebrity to convert — or more provocatively, a Muslim touting the advantages of Islam — Christians would be calling for his head.

No doubt many would. The tendency to take offense at freewheeling religious debate is widespread. There are European Christians who side with Muslims in support of blasphemy laws, lest Jesus or the Prophet Muhammad have his reputation sullied. There are American Catholics who cry “bigotry” every time a newspaper columnist criticizes the church’s teaching on sexuality. Many Christians have decided that the best way to compete in an era of political correctness is to play the victim card.

But these believers are colluding in their own marginalization. If you treat your faith like a hothouse flower, too vulnerable to survive in the crass world of public disputation, then you ensure that nobody will take it seriously. The idea that religion is too mysterious, too complicated or too personal to be debated on cable television just ensures that it never gets debated at all.

This doesn’t mean that we need to welcome real bigotry into our public discourse. But what Hume said wasn’t bigoted: Indeed, his claim about the difference between Buddhism and Christianity was perfectly defensible. Christians believe in a personal God who forgives sins. Buddhists, as a rule, do not. And it’s at least plausible that Tiger Woods might welcome the possibility that there’s Someone out there capable of forgiving him, even if Elin Nordegren and his corporate sponsors never do.

Or maybe not. For many people — Woods perhaps included — the fact that Buddhism promotes an ethical life without recourse to Christian concepts like the Fall of Man, divine judgment and damnation is precisely what makes it so appealing. The knee-jerk outrage that greeted Hume’s remarks buried intelligent responses from Buddhists, who made arguments along these lines — explaining their faith, contrasting it with Christianity, and describing how a lost soul like Woods might use Buddhist concepts to climb from darkness into light.

When liberal democracy was forged, in the wake of Western Europe’s religious wars, this sort of peaceful theological debate is exactly what it promised to deliver. And the differences between religions are worth debating. Theology has consequences: It shapes lives, families, nations, cultures, wars; it can change people, save them from themselves, and sometimes warp or even destroy them.

If we tiptoe politely around this reality, then we betray every teacher, guru and philosopher — including Jesus of Nazareth and the Buddha both — who ever sought to resolve the most human of all problems: How then should we live?

It’s reasonable to doubt that a cable news analyst has the right answer to this question. But the debate that Brit Hume kicked off a week ago is still worth having. Indeed, it’s the most important one there is.

san telmo antiques fair

2010-01-07T08:33:00.000-05:00

everyone's home

2010-01-06T14:33:00.001-05:00

We got to pick up Ellie this morning from the vet, and I'm relieved to report that the bill (while still high) was under my "worst case scenario" estimate. All in all, Ellie spent 12 days and nights at the vet, had one major surgery and two smaller procedures, and took plenty of meds. Whew!

The work isn't over, and we're now responsible for injecting her with various solutions in two places twice daily. Not looking forward to that. She's sporting this nice faja and is supposed to stay still. Yeah, right. She's already leaped (lept?) over a ditch once. I forgot that if I told her to come, she would come running. Oops.

I do think that she's probably more likely to stay still here at home where everything in her world is right (than at the vet where she has to keep her eye on everyone).

next?

2010-01-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

On the twelfth day of Christmas, I got to come home! Taza was waiting for me in the window and wagged her tail non-stop for about an hour. We'll pick up Ellie at the vet in the morning. Ellie, the miracle dog, who swallowed a mango pit and lived (barely).

I'm not sure I'd say I'm glad to be back in Pucallpa, but there was a certain comfort about pulling into the teeny airport, knowing how to argue over the mototaxi fare, and driving into my neighborhood with all its rich, green, jungle vegetation.

This month is going to be a busy one for us. In particular we're thinking toward Tim's Alpha Training Conference in a few weeks. It's something he cares about so much, and he wants to do it with excellence. That takes a lot of work, and the emotional energy involved in its preparation is no small deal either.

We're also beginning to think and plan for coming home. That's a little scary and exciting all at once. Prayer request #1-- jobs. I'm sure we'll have a lot more to say on that topic in the future.

the tenth day of christmas

2010-01-03T06:56:00.000-05:00

uruguay highlights

2009-12-30T08:51:00.000-05:00

Casapueblo in Punta Ballena. It's the creation and studio of Carlos Paez Vilaro, a noted Uruguayan artist. Fascinating and beautiful.

Sailing a catamaran on the ocean! I've been promising to take Tim since we were dating. It was absolutely not disappointing.

Driving a scooter through the streets of Colonia. I've been wanting to learn to do this for ages.

Colonia in general. Sweet old cobblestoned town with intruiguing antique cars and fun shops.

And now we're settled in for five days in an apartment in Buenos Aires, which I'm pretty sure is my favorite place in the world. Couldn't be happier (unless the dogs were here).

ellie update and awesome rachael

2009-12-29T05:23:00.001-05:00

Did I mention that our friend (and neighbor and coworker) Rachael is AMAZING?

Dec. 26 she went to the vet to visit Ellie and besides giving her a little comfort was also able to help us get a better picture of what was going on. Yesterday she went to check on her again (still at the vet). I knew Ellie was darn lucky to have us, but I had no idea what awesome friends she had :-)

Rachael says Ellie is a different dog now. It sounds like she's somewhat back to normal-- drooling all over the place, wagging her tail, wandering around the vet's office. Apparently she follows the vet everywhere, and in order to get some work done, the vet has to lock her up every once in a while. You can't keep a good dog down. She's still on IVs (antibiotics and nutrition) but recovering quite well.

Despite Ellie's reluctance to see Rachael go (she kept pawing at her), it sounds like she is becoming quite attached to the vet and is getting plenty of love in return. Good news.

I'm treasuring Rachael's email like a love letter, rereading it and laughing out loud again (both because Ellie is hilarious and because Rachael's tone in writing is so darn funny). I'm so grateful to her but also to God when I remember that He brought us these beautiful friends in Pucallpa to help us adjust and settle in but also to help us heal from all of the tough times we've been through in the last two years. He knows just what I need and is taking care of me in sometimes surprising but always perfect ways.

PS Rachael also went and coaxed Taza out to play the other day. Apparently she was very reluctant but enjoyed herself plenty once she got going. I think she must feel pretty deserted without Ellie or us!

we almost lost her

2009-12-27T07:36:00.000-05:00

Here's Ellie the day before we left (Dec. 19) as I was trying to take Christmas cheer photos. Not very cheery. She threw up a minute later. I thought she had gotten a bad batch of chicken.

As it turned out, things weren't that simple. By Christmas Eve she was really sick, and on Christmas morning our amazing friend and dog/house-sitter Jackson took her into the vet (no easy feat). She spent Christmas on an IV and antibiotics with a fever of 104 F. Since all the labs were closed, the vet had to wait until Dec. 26 to do an X-ray and blood analysis.

Sweet Rachael Powell went to visit Ellie at the vet and only got one tail wag, a serious mark of sickness since Rachael is the only person Ellie has ever jumped up on (LOVES her). Although I was somewhat of a wreck down here in Uruguay, having Rachael involved gave me a huge amount of peace, both because she could give Ellie a little love and because her nursing background means she could explain to me a little better what the heck was going on.

After two X-rays (the first was sub-par) and blood work, they determined that she had an intestinal twisting or blockage or something and went in for surgery. There was a chance that the problem would have spread too far, and we had to make the call to put her down if that was the case. Yuck.

Four hours later we got the news that she made it out just fine! The vet found a mango pit in Ellie's intestine, which had caused some lesions and bleeding as well. She feels confident that the problem is taken care of, and now we're just waiting for Ellie to heal up. I expect she will do that quickly. She's tough.

What a day (or two, really).

merry christmas!

2009-12-25T07:10:00.000-05:00

Oooh, I miss this face... would have loved to have her nuzzling around the bed this morning!