Now is the season that I really should be praying more, but it seems like my first instinct is to go to something else for solace from the chaos and direction for the day- food, Tim, busyness. Thanks to anyone who prayed for me yesterday! This morning when I woke up my first thought was to spend some quiet time reading the Bible and praying. I'm glad I did. A few messages really stuck out to me.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) If anyone can claim weakness, I think it's me. I'm a bumbling ball of overdramatic emotions and MESS. When we were interviewing with South America Mission, one guy said he thought we had more emotional baggage than anyone else they had appointed as missionaries. My thought is that if emotional baggage disqualifies me from working for God, what's the point of being a Christian? (Give me the benefit of the doubt here- I do know a couple good answers to that semi-heretical question.) The truth is that God is bigger than all my emotional baggage. His grace is more than sufficient for all my weakness. And one thing I have noticed about God is that He seems to enjoy making big, beautiful things happen through little, messy people.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." (Psalm 20:7) One of my more substantial weaknesses is a tendency toward deep disappointment. I've learned in my head and am learning in my heart that when my hope is is God (not what I want Him to do for me), I am not disappointed. So I'm trying these days to let go of trusting so much in other things- Tim to make me happy, technology to solve my problems, my plans to work out, money to buy me the desires of my heart.... If I can trust that God's plans for my day, my life are better than mine, I save myself a lot of heartache.

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