It's really not all about my marriage, although that is one of the easiest examples to describe. In the end, it has everything to do with my work as well. We are here to help people. That's a dangerous job for someone like me who is so used to calling "fixing and controlling people" help. How can I genuinely help these people and do it in a way that is healthy? How can I make a lasting positive impact here?
I think one beginning is to remember (as I see and hear the pain and problems of this population) that I didn't cause these problems and can't actually fix them. I'm not responsible for being their "god incarnate." In fact, every time I try to take that role, I am usurping (in one sense) the authority and power of God in their lives. I have a role here, but it's not His. Any true help I give needs to be help that doesn't rob them of their dignity or freedom, create dependencies I can't maintain, or steal opportunities for change and growth. If I "help" someone in a way that keeps them from taking care of themselves or finding a long-term solution to their problem, I haven't helped. I've hurt. If I help this community in a way that creates a dependency on me and holds them back from learning to love and serve one another, I'm standing in the way of God's best for them.
On another (related) topic, I was looking at some of our support-raising materials yesterday and noticed a phrase I used: Investing in people who impact families to change communities and transform culture. It starts with investing in people. Did I forget that? Yes and no. It's good to remember that my strategy and vision for making a difference in this town is to spend time loving people one by one. I'm not here to be queen of Puerto Supe. I'm here to be a friend.