It's been a full few days in a number of ways. The one that interests me the most has to do with what I've been learning about helping people. For one, I'm beginning to see that sometimes my help is more about me and less about the other person. In a negative way. When I fill in for Tim's weakness, is that helping him? Or did I just steal his dignity, his opportunity to grow, and his personal freedom? Am I "helping" him because I care about him? Or do I want him to be "successful" (read: do things my way) because it makes me feel more under control and I'm desperate for this little family to fit a certain mold?

It's really not all about my marriage, although that is one of the easiest examples to describe. In the end, it has everything to do with my work as well. We are here to help people. That's a dangerous job for someone like me who is so used to calling "fixing and controlling people" help. How can I genuinely help these people and do it in a way that is healthy? How can I make a lasting positive impact here?

I think one beginning is to remember (as I see and hear the pain and problems of this population) that I didn't cause these problems and can't actually fix them. I'm not responsible for being their "god incarnate." In fact, every time I try to take that role, I am usurping (in one sense) the authority and power of God in their lives. I have a role here, but it's not His. Any true help I give needs to be help that doesn't rob them of their dignity or freedom, create dependencies I can't maintain, or steal opportunities for change and growth. If I "help" someone in a way that keeps them from taking care of themselves or finding a long-term solution to their problem, I haven't helped. I've hurt. If I help this community in a way that creates a dependency on me and holds them back from learning to love and serve one another, I'm standing in the way of God's best for them.

On another (related) topic, I was looking at some of our support-raising materials yesterday and noticed a phrase I used: Investing in people who impact families to change communities and transform culture. It starts with investing in people. Did I forget that? Yes and no. It's good to remember that my strategy and vision for making a difference in this town is to spend time loving people one by one. I'm not here to be queen of Puerto Supe. I'm here to be a friend.

Here are some of my favorite recipes, typed up for another purpose but here to share! The dishes are mostly arranged to be complete meals. All but one of the recipes is from one of my three favorite cookbooks: Barefoot Contessa (all of them but especially the orange one), Moosewood Low-Fat Recipes, or Desperation Dinners.

Cuban Picadillo with Rice
South-of-the-Border Chicken Salad with Key Lime Dressing*
Lobster Cobb Salad
Watercress Omelets with Roasted Asparagus and Oven Fries*º
Bean and Bean Gumbo with Wild Rice Waldorf Salad*º
Southwestern Corn and Potato Soup with Quinoa Black Bean Salad*º
Savannah Beans and Greens Soup with Cornbread*º
Tempting Thai Chicken on Rice
Corn and Bean Stuffed Baked Potatoes with Spinach Avocado Grapefruit Salad*º
Curried Chicken Salad with Green Salad
Roasted Vegetables with Italian Dressing and Couscous*º
Blue Cheese Burgers with Potato Salad
Black Bean Burritosº

Frozen Key Lime Pieº
Dark Chocolate Pudding*º
Nutty Chocolate Biscotti*º
Herbal Iced Teaº
Raspberry Mojitoº
Guacamole with Cottage Cheese*º
Indian Chickpea Spread*º
Cornmeal Spice Muffins*º


*Low-fat recipe
ºVegetarian recipe

Click here for the recipes!

We had 10 people, some tasty shepherd’s pie and great time of discussion afterwards.

This week’s talk was on why and how we should pray. We decided to break up into two groups for the discussion time and since there were an equal number of boys and girls (usually boys are outnumbered at least 3 to 1 at anything God-related), we decided to segregate them. I started my group (men) with the question of whether or not you’d ever prayed and to my surprise, mostly because of their honesty, two of them said no and another said not really. They then proceeded to discuss whether or not God answers prayers, what kind of prayers God will answer and how long you have to pray before God answers a prayer (apparently if you’re praying for a car they decided you’d have to pray 3 times a day for 9 years).

In the process of discussing this M (the druggie) pulled out a small booklet I gave him last week called Why Jesus, a basic explanation of our need for Jesus and how to have a relationship with him. Using the prayer for salvation as an example, he started teaching the others how to pray. In the process he got two other guys in the group excited about the book and they asked for a copy as well.

We ended the discussion praying out loud together very simply with prayers such as “God thanks for tonight” and “God please give me a car” but everyone in our groups prayed and felt comfortable with it (even the 14 year old daughter of our housekeeper that was in Hannah’s group and those who had never prayed before). We then had everyone draw a name out of a hat and gave them the option to pray for that person this week. All in all, tonight was really encouraging and we saw several sign of people wanting to change and grow closer to God. At one point one lady even said the whole point of this is to change.

Thanks for you prayers and please continue to pray for the people involved in this course. We are also planning a day long retreat July 20th and please pray that people would be able to come.

p.s. 5 points if you can tell me the song, album and band the title of the post is from

This week’s question is “Why and how do I pray?”

When we started thinking about a “trial period” of missions, one of our greatest desires was to go somewhere where God was already clearly at work and where we could get caught up in what He was doing. Not everything is easy or fun here in Puerto Supe, but I see so clearly that God has answered that prayer for us. Particularly through Alpha, I am surprised again and again that normal people like us could be part of such a remarkable movement of the Spirit. All of that to say that we continue to be deeply grateful for the opportunity to be here and to host this Alpha course. We are watching God transform people before our very eyes and it is breathtaking.

Here are some ways you can partner with us in prayer today:

1. Pray for our guests to come! This weekend is a major holiday for Puerto Supe, the celebration of “our saint” (Peter), and will be a huge party for a few days. Our guests decided we should still get together. Pray that they won’t be kept from coming and that they will come with open, enthusiastic hearts.

2. Pray for our discussion. To deal with the issue of “super-Christians” monopolizing the conversation, we’re going to separate into two groups tonight according to the involvement people already have with “God stuff.” Pray for that to go over well. Pray that the “Christian-y” group will have stimulating conversation that helps them grow in the faith they already have. Pray that the “seekers” group will take off with their new freedom from people who know it all (or think they do)! I think the discussion this week has the potential to be more “real” as we talk about prayer, our thoughts and feelings about it, and our experience of it so far.

3. Pray for the food- taste, right amount, that Peruvians will like it. This really is a big issue every week as we fill all of the Alpha leader roles. We’re making Shepherd’s Pie. We have decided to continue making non-Peruvian dishes since we can’t really compete with the Peruvians on those! Casserole-type dishes have been a huge relief since they don’t involve last minute cooking. If you have any favorites, send them to me!

4. Pray for us. We want to go into Alpha happy and full, ready to love and focus on people.

We are so encouraged by your partnership and devotion to us. Have a great weekend!

I finished reading J.I. Packer's Knowing God this week. I will definitely keep it in my small collection of "books I will never get rid of even if I move across the world." It has a similar flavor to A.W. Tozer's Knowledge of the Holy, which is another of my all time devotional favorites. Both address what I would consider my #1 life goal-- to know God more and more. Not to know about Him even, but to know HIM. This paragraph from the last chapter particularly stuck out to me yesterday:

Have you been holding back from a risky, costly course to which you know in your heart God has called you? Hold back no longer. Your God is faithful to you, and He is adequate for you. You will never need more than He can supply, and what He supplies, both materially and spiritually, will always be enough for the present.

--No good thing does the LORD withhold form those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11
--My grace is sufficient for you, fo rmy power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
--God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Think on these things!-- and let your thoughts drive out your inhibitions about serving your Master.

I think I see myself there-- afraid that if I give everything I have, I'll be left empty and poor. I'm afraid that if I spend time with "unlovely" people, I'll just grow resentful and bitter. I'm afraid He's not enough for me.

Another question, though, is this issue of a "course to which you know in your heart God has called you." I think I'm still a little confused there. I'm thinking in particular about a girl that has attached herself to Sierra. She is in a wheel chair and has brain damage to the extent that even though she is 21, she has the maturity of maybe a 10 year old. Maybe less. She doesn't usually remember things Sierra tells her and can't process very complicated information. She comes by my house every day or two and starts calling from the street (because she can't get her wheelchair up on the sidewalk), "Amiga Sierra!" She's come twice this week even though we've told her a million times that Sierra is out of town for the week. Yesterday (Tuesday) she seemed particularly confused. "Don't we have class [Bible study] on Thursdays?" she asked. I reminded her that it was Tuesday. She didn't quite get it.

All that to say that she is a sweet but very needy girl. I'm terrified that when Sierra leaves she's going to automatically assume that I'm taking over all of Sierra's roles and start coming by to see me five times a week. In all honesty, I don't want to spend time with her. And then I remember Jesus, who after all is our example for how to be a fabulous missionary. The question, "What would Jesus do?" has become remarkably relevant to me over the last two months. And what would He do? I know for sure that He wouldn't literally ignore the mentally and physically handicapped girl calling out for love and attention from the street. But I have.

Is my call to love this girl and give her 5 hours of my attention every week? Do I really have "better" things to do with my time? If it is my call and all that is holding me back is fear, I need to address that. I'm confused between "knowing in my heart that God has called me" to serve this girl and maybe just feeling unnecessarily guilty and not knowing how to set boundaries well.

Thanks for letting me think "out loud." The number of people I encounter here who want to listen to me process through these ideas is pretty slim.

I just ordered this T-shirt for Tim from Woot Shirt, a website that sells a different T-shirt every day for $10 and free shipping ($5 international). The actual shirts are made by American Apparel, which I think means that they will be high quality and fit well. We'll see. Anyway, I thought the shirt was hilarious. Thanks for the tip, Chapmans!

Here's Don F ("Don" being a title of sorts, showing respect-- think Don Quijote). He's an older guy, kind of out of it, doesn't hear or speak well these days. He doesn't have any family left and can't work, partially because of his age and partially because he's a former fisherman and there's no longer any fishing going on. The Comunidad Cristiana supports him monthly with I think around $20. In return (not as part of the deal, but just as a way to say thanks) he started doing a little garden up-keep. Don F, the jardinero.

Most days you can find Don F sitting outside the building we use for meetings, which also is the home of a coffee shop some girls are trying to get going. He just sits. All day. Yesterday I took him a cupcake and brought Ellie down to visit. He seems to like her and she likes everyone, including him. We visited for a while. Mostly we just talked about how fast Ellie was growing. He says he likes to play cards, so I think some day I might go back for a game of War.

Another note on Ellie. She is the life of every party. When I take her out, everyone wants to talk about her. They also ask me if she bites. At home, I would be shocked that someone would imagine my dog would bite. Here, I respond, "Depends." This is meant to be our guard dog after all. No use letting everyone know what a baby she is. They say the breed is the perfect guard dog. I'm not seeing it yet, except in the sense that she might just look scary. Or frighten someone with all her slobber.

Saturday morning my neighbor came and asked me if I could be her grandson's godmother for his cachimbo. Godparents are an interesting thing around here. You have one for baptism but also for first communion, confirmation, first year of elementary school, first year of secondary school, graduation, and marriage. My neighbor assured me this was no big deal, and as the other godmother had to drop out in the last minute (her boss sent her to Lima for the day), I agreed to do it.

As it turned out, she was right. The cachimbo is the ceremony to mark the first year of secondary school. The kids wear their uniforms (plus a cape and hat), the godparents paint marks on their faces, and everyone eats lunch. The whole thing is mostly a fundraiser for the school, because the godparents are supposed to give money to the school and a present to the kid. The other godmother sent the money and present so I really just showed up.

Afterward all the hubub, each family pulled out their picnic basket and found a place to sit and share the meal they brought. We had guinea pig. When the food was gone, the kids cleared out their classroom and danced. Grandma and I took off. In the end, I only had to stay 3 hours. The whole thing turned out better than I expected, particularly because I know it was meaningful for my neighbors and I got to spend a fair amount of time chatting with them. They are growing daily as a significant part of my life and I think vice versa.

For anyone who cares, I've removed the Country Statistics widget (wasn't updating for some reason) and added a Blog Subscription widget. If you want to subscribe to receive new posts by email, you can enter your address in the sidebar on the right.

This last week I spent a few days in Lima picking up a projector and taking my computer to be repaired. One thing I hate about Lima is that it takes 30 mins to an hour to go just about anywhere and the taxis can tend to be expensive. Whenever I'm going somewhere not with Hannah I try to make a point to sit up front because then the driver will talk to me. If I'm going to be in a cab a few hours a day I might as well get some language practice in. Also you tend to meet some crazy people in the process.

I would say in general, taxi drivers are the most difficult people to understand. Their speech tends to be incredibly fast and slurred. To my amazement, I was actually able to understand pretty much everything this time as well as communicate quite well. It made me feel good about my slowly improving language ability.

This last time I was in Lima I took one cab driver who happened to be from Puerto Supe and his parents still live on my street. He proceed to ask me what seems a standard question protocol: How long have you been here? How long are you going to stay? Is your wife Peruvian? Why are you here? So you are Mormon? So you are Seventh Day Adventist? Are you Catholic or Evangelical? Are you a preacher?

I think we must not fit into the usual foreigner mold because at the end of it, they really have no idea what we do. This time was no exception but the taxi driver did figure out I had something to do with religion. He proceeded to share with me a few 2 or 3 word phrases from the Bible and out of no where he asked me how I became a Christian. I gave him a 2-3 minute summary of my life and at the end of it he told me that he was going to be 46 next week and that he had wasted 28 years of his life messing with drugs, although now it's just an occasional problem.

Up until this point the conversation was pretty normal, I'd had half a dozen or so just like it. For the most part you don't talk. You just listen and nod. But then he started saying that he felt God was knocking on his heart and that he needed to change and he wanted to know more about Christ and the Bible. He asked me if I could pray for him like the apostle Paul prayed for people that he would be changed. I explained that I would be happy to pray for him (although I'm far from the apostle Paul) but that I wasn't the one who could change his heart. He interrupted me to say that he knew and he was going to be praying too, it's just that he had to drive and couldn't close his eyes. So we prayed together and afterwards he asked about some churches he could go to. I gave him a recommendation of one that I knew also had the Alpha course in Lima and suggested he check it out.

The whole experience was quite interesting because even though I understood the words I couldn't really understand what was going on. Also I hardly said anything to the man but you would have thought I gave him an hour long sermon. To be honest, I don't know if anything changed in V's life that day or not but I wouldn't be surprised if that was either God calling V to himself or is beginning the process of it. Either way it was pretty exciting and I felt quite honored to be a part of it.

It's been a weird night but somehow I still feel good about where things are going with the Alpha Course. The talk was "How can I be sure of my faith?" I started the discussion by repeating what the speaker gave as the definition of a Christian: a person who has a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. It all went downhill from there.

Ten minutes into the conversation, I said, "So I think this is what I'm hearing: You disagree with the speaker. He said to be a Christian is to have a relationship with God. You're saying to be a Christian is to be a good person." Heads nod, mmmmhmmmm. Oh dear. The dominant speakers of the group went on to discuss in super-religious terms how it's all about what you do and whether you're meeting "the standard." Our druggie neighbor did a great job of interrupting and arguing, but other than that, there weren't a lot of dissenting parties.

It's okay. I think this is why Alpha is 10 weeks instead of 3. It was hard letting them go without correcting them, but I have hope in this particular way of bringing people alongside and letting them watch over time, discovering for themselves rather than just being spoon-fed again. When they all left, Sierra, Tim and I just laughed. What was that? A group of people dead set on refusing the liberating truth that you aren't all that great of a person, God knows it (and you do too on one level), and He Himself has made a way for you. They'd rather not be accepted, received, liberated, empowered, caught up in a new life. They'll just focus on being decent people and making sure they don't steal or at least not very often.

If you're ever going to find freedom around here, it's going to be in Jesus. You'll find a lot of small-town nonsense in Puerto Supe (judgment, criticism, gossip, inescapable reputations, hypocrisy) and nothing that looks like freedom. They're taking their grudges to the grave. The only place I'm finding acceptance and forgiveness is in the good news that brought me here. Jesus is the one offering freedom from condemnation and this moral rat race we're stuck in.

Thank you for your prayers. I feel strangely encouraged tonight and I can't imagine why. We had a great turnout, and our druggie neighbor brought along his cousin. He in particular has been a gift to us recently. Pray for him. I'm pretty sure something remarkable is going on in that heart of his. The chicken pot pie was tasty (although Tim still argues we added too much cayenne) and was portioned perfectly. Now there's a miracle if I ever saw one!

We feel good going into our third night of Alpha. Here are some things you can pray for:

• Pray that we would be surrendered to God's will and protected from the attacks of the enemy. We have been having sinking spells before Alpha, either between us or in terms of discouragement. Pray that tonight we would go into Alpha full and happy.
• Our guests. We want a good turn out and want a group that can grow together in comfort and vulnerability.
• The food. We're making chicken pot pie tonight and hoping in goes over well. Pray that we would miraculously get the portions right (difficult when I don't know who's coming!).
• Discussion. Pray that our conversation after the video would flow easily and be meaningful. Pray that it would stay focused on things that matter, guided by the Holy Spirit.
• I think it's very possible that there have been some lives turned over to God in the last few weeks and/or that there are people on the edge of a big jump of faith. Pray for the Holy Spirit's work in the hearts of these precious people and that they would have the courage and clarity to follow God.

As a side note, one of the big ideas of Alpha is that the leaders are not supposed to be preachy. In fact, we really shouldn't do more than ask questions to stimulate discussion. That is working exceptionally well since when they get going, we can't always understand exactly what they're saying!