We had a super relaxing weekend away at Lake Titicaca, despite the two 6 hour bus rides. Saturday morning we went out on the lake to see the floating islands. They are part tourist trap I think, but since some of them don't allow visitors, they must be "for real" too. The inhabitants build the islands with layers upon layers of reeds. They say it takes about a year to build one and that the new ones are about 2 meters deep. They continue to pile on more reeds over time, so they grow to be much deeper. It's pretty amazing to think that people live out there without any amenities- electricity, running water, etc. Hey, it just occured to me that their drinking water is from the lake (not boiled either) but they also must use the lake for sewage (where else would it go?). Hmmmm.

Can you believe it? Davidson almost made it to the Final Four. They lost by 2 points to Kansas. Not too shabby. I expect the world will quickly forget about Davidson's athletic skills, but I doubt the memory of free laundry service will fade so fast. It seems to be mentioned in about every article and is far more unique and noteworthy I'd say.

As I prayed today, I tried to envision God in that very moment. Where is He? What does He look like? What is He doing? What is He thinking? I realized all of the sudden that I have no idea. I can imagine, but I don't want to. People all over the world are imagining God, making up someone to talk to. I want to know the real God, not one I imagine out of pictures I've seen, books I've read, the desires in my heart.

The whole concept has sort of thrown me for a loop today and left me a little lost. Is that all this is- imagination? Is God real or have I just imagined Him? Even as I ask the question, it seems ridiculous. I know all the right answers, but for some reason the questions won't go away. I think also that I'm not ready for them to go away, that I need to sit with them a little longer and see where they take me. I'm not scared of the questions, because part of me knows the answers already and knows that this God I'm banking my life on isn't threatened by my questions either. He'll bring me through this stronger.

I feel like I'm in first grade again, starting all over at this life of faith. What have I been doing for the last 8 years? Right now it seems like I've been learning a lot about God without knowing Him. Even to write that word- Him- startles me. I guess the word God has become familiar and easy from too much reading and writing. I am unsettled to remember that He is real, a person in one sense, and then again, not a person at all.

I'm remembering the first time I had a glimpse of transcendence, as I stood at the edge of Canyon de Chelly at 12 or so and wondered at such a vast expanse, space unending. I feel myself there again, standing at the edge of Mystery-- a little scared, shaken in to the depths of me, on the brink of tears because I don't have any other ideas for how to express this strange and penetrating emotion rising up inside me. If it takes my whole life, I want to know Him. Not to learn about God but to really know Him, the real One, to be caught up in this Mystery so far beyond what I can grasp with my mind.

It seems like anyone living in the US knows about my alma mater Davidson College by now. At least I've been getting emails about them from everyone I know- my brother, Dad, brother-in-law, college friends and the college itself. We always were a very proud bunch, so we take any chance we get to make ourselves known.

One of the ideas in the book The PAPA Prayer that I just read was that we need to be real about what the ideas in our head of what God looks like, and second, we need to change those ideas to match the reality expressed in the Bible. I've been thinking a lot about that today, and it hit me that Jesus says, "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father" (John 14:9). To me that means that if I want to know what God is like, I need to pay attention to the character of the God-man Jesus. I started doing that today by reading the Message version of the Gospel of John and am enjoying it thoroughly. On verse that particularly struck me (since it addresses this very issue) was John 1:18: No one has ever seen God, not so much as a glimpse. This one-of-a-kind God-Expression, who exists at the very heart of the Father, has made him plain as day.

I also picked up another book today that I've been meaning to read for a while, Knowing God by J.I. Packer. It was funny how I was in the middle of praying that my heart would be focused on knowing God that I remembered the book. I bought it in October and just haven't had a moment to more than glance at it. Today is the day. I hope that it is a chance for me to adjust my vision of God to align more clearly with the truth and less with pictures I have seen in the past or what I wish God were like.

Above all, I am praying that I would approach knowing God as the priority in my life but not as another matter of study. I am so used to running after tangible goals that make me feel more valuable as a person for having achieved them. I don't want to "use" God that way. I just want to come to a place where I can know Him, not to improve my mental health or my reputation, but just for the sake of knowing Him.

On Monday, our language school principal told Tim that he would benefit from 4-8 more weeks of class. We agree, but at the same time, "student" is not Tim's favorite role in life. He's tired of going to class and ready to get to work. I think he is also realizing that he learns best by trial and error, which will serve him well as he continues this process in Puerto Supe. Having discussed our departure date with his teachers and the principal, he decided to stay this week (as planned) plus one more. Our new schedule is as follows:

• Visit nearby Puno/Lake Titicaca this weekend
• One last week of class next week
• Visit nearby Colca Canyon next weekend
• Flight to Lima followed by bus to Puerto, both Sunday April 6

The two weekend trips are pretty essential. There are "local" attractions that we hadn't gotten around to visiting, but more than that, we are so antsy to go that we just don't know how well we'd do sitting around in our room all weekend. Lake Titicaca, by the way, is the highest navigable lake in the world and the largest lake in South America. Colca Canyon is about twice as deep as the Grand Canyon. Both should be pretty fascinating.

We are ready to go but also content with the decision to stay another week. Tim is working hard on fine tuning a few things in class, and I am spending my days at home in personal retreat- resting, reading, praying. It probably sounds bizarre that I need this, but somehow I was just worn out. I think more than anything I needed the intentionality of retreat. I want to arrive in Puerto Supe rested, full, and ready. I feel that happening more and more each day as I purposefully set aside time for renewal.

Here are the people currently living in our house.

• Julio, our host dad
• Miriam, our host mom
• Daniela, our host sister
• Pablo, our host brother (our other host brother Diego is 10 days married and living down the street with his bride)
• Abuelita, our host grandmother
• Joni, one of the two housekeepers
• Miriam, a German missionary and fellow student
• Sandra, another German missionary and fellow student
• Robert, an English medical student and friend of the host family
• Joseph, Robert's brother and also friend of the host family
• Me
• Tim
• Lula the other housekeeper and her daughter Andrea, who don't actually live here but are here at least 9 hours a day

Today all but Sandra, Tim and I were gone. Joni was at school (which she attends in the afternoon) and the rest were at a funeral. When they left, Julio was sure to tell us that we were the only ones in the house. They bolted the door. I realized at that point that in the five months we've lived here, I've never known the house to be left all alone. The closest it ever comes is on Sunday morning, when a specific 3rd housekeeper comes to guard the place while everyone is at church.

Is this paranoia or wisdom? In the US, I know at least one person (unnamed to protect her valuables) who doesn't even lock her door when she leaves the house unattended. And here we are bolting the door four times when there are 3 people and 2 dogs left in a house also guarded by walls with broken glass on top.

I suppose I'm so quick to laugh because I haven't been robbed yet. More cultural tidbits to digest. After our 5 months here, I am coming to the point where I know what to expect a little more, but I definitely don't feel like I understand it.

I checked myself in at a B&B this morning for a 24 hr personal retreat. I was a little nervous about the solitude, really. I wanted it so desperately but also knew that it would leave me vulnerable without any of my usual distractions. In the first 10-20 minutes, it occured to me that my room was awfully dark. While that would be lovely for sleeping, it doesn't make a great setting to read all day. I decided to switch rooms (a little sad because it meant losing a great bathtub). 10-20 minutes later, I realized that the noise from outside was insurmountable. I thought about getting a CD player and putting on some music or maybe buying some earplugs. Then I realized that if I needed to do something like that, it didn't make for much of a retreat. Might as well go home and read in my bedroom. And I did.

I'm sure that much of the distraction is internal, my own thoughts and anxieties jumping up within me. I am hoping to try again on the retreat, in a different spot next time. From my bedroom at home, though, I actually had a surprisingly retreat-y day today. I read Larry Crabb's new book The PAPA Prayer, which has left me with some fresh perspective about who I am, who God is, and how we fit together. I feel hopeful about the coming week, positive about the direction I am moving in with the Lord, and a little bit renewed in my vision, emotions, and spirit.

One of the verses I memorized recently describes the character and behavior of a servant of God: He (or she) must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not prone to irritation. 2 Timothy 2:24 The verse has haunted me over the last week or maybe two as I feel rising in me the exact opposite: irritation, annoyance, crabbiness. Whatever word I choose, it's not pretty. Today was a particular roller coaster as I swung back and forth between frustration, desperation and repentance. I feel out of control.

Some mixture of culture shock and the anxiety of transition is stealing my joy and peace. I don't know exactly how to battle this. Somewhere in my mess today, I felt a nudging to go spend time alone, although I'm not sure if that was my culture shock pushing me into the closet or the Holy Spirit pointing the way for me. Either way, I'm thinking of giving it a shot in the form of a silent retreat sometime this week.

I know above all that I don't want to arrive in Puerto Supe (in a little over a week) in this shape. I want to arrive in fullness, ready to overflow. I want to arrive with fresh words from God. I want to come filled with the Holy Spirit and His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. At the same time, I know that my emptiness brings me to a point of humility, brokenness and need, and that those are the seeds of beauty in the hands of the Lord.

As I come to the end of a fairly rotten day, I am ready to say that He is worth all of this and more. I will do what I can to position myself to receive His grace, but if it's brokenness He wants from me this week, I am willing. The message of Easter is that glory comes from pain and patience and emptiness.

Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. Isaiah 26:8

Highlights of our beach trip:

• the beach (I forgot how much I love it)
• boys digging a very deep hole
• Taza meets a 4-month-old mastiff
• shrimp fisherman in a bikini
• spending time with our friends (Peruvian, American, German, Norweigan, and English)

Yesterday during Tim’s dentist appointment with our host dad (the dentist), Taza and I went to the Plaza de Armas to take some photos of the Semana Santa procession. She was a little freaked out and trembling, but I was thrilled (by the procession, not the trembling). Afterward I tried to let her walk around on her new leash in the park but quickly found out that dogs are not allowed in the park. Interestingly enough, they are allowed in restaurants, so we went to hang out at our favorite coffee shop, Cuzco Coffee Company, to wait for Tim. It’s something like the Peruvian version of Starbucks. Taza slept on my lap while I read my new book about Oscar Romero, the Salvadoran bishop martyred for his work on behalf of the poor. Fascinating.


Our friend David finished language school yesterday and is heading off to get started flying missionaries and tribal people around the jungle. For his last hoorah we are going to a nearby beach this week and returning on Saturday. I’m looking forward to beach camping, sun bathing, and seeing Taza’s reaction to the ocean.

We also are heading out soon. Next week will be our last at language school. We’re hoping after that to take a few days to visit Lake Titicaca and Colca Canyon, two big attractions of the area that somehow we never got around to seeing. Our plan is to be in Puerto Supe sometime in the first week of April.

Three of the last four meals I've been served have involved sliced up hot dogs. Who would have guessed that the American staple would be so prevalent in Peruvian cuisine?

Well we are now in the middle of what is probably Latin America's most important week- Semana Santa. Thursday and Friday are official holidays I think, but the festivities started at least as early as last Saturday (3/16). That night the Plaza de Armas (main square) was closed down for an anti-abortion rally led by the Catholic Church. It struck me as a little strange since abortion is illegal here.

Last night as we headed downtown with our friend David, we ran into the same traffic, again due to hubub in the Plaza. As we entered the Plaza, I felt like I must be at some strange mutation of Disney World. There were marching bands, street vendors with candy apples (specific to this week for some reason), all kinds of people selling everything Catholic, the mayor talking on a loudspeaker, lots of candles, and three wooden litters carrying life-size replicas of Jesus and I think Mary. It was surreal and so much fun. It nearly makes me want to be Catholic myself.

Apparently this commotion carries on all week, so since I didn't get very good photos last night (cell phone camara), I'm hoping to go back again. I have no idea what to think in terms of the religious/spiritual implications of all this, but I am fascinated by the expression of Peruvian culture.

For dinner last night we went to a friend's house for a little get together. The grand attraction was salchipapas, a new dish that we had not tried before. Well, actually we have tried its ingredients many, many times, but not in this particular arrangement. Salchipapas is a combination of Peru's two favorite foods: potatoes and hot dogs. It's basically french fries and little pieces of hot dog smothered in any kind of sauce you can think of. We had olive sauce, avocado sauce, spicy aji sauce, ketchup, mustard, and mayonaise I think.

I never expected to find so many hot dogs in Peru, but they seem to pop up (usually sliced into little bits) everywhere: omelets, on the breakfast table, fried rice, empanadas, pizza, etc. Last year (in the US) I started to enjoy a good grilled kosher hot dog, but I just can't handle the nonsense I'm finding here. I opted for salchipapas without the salchichas (sausages) last night. The fries and sauces were pretty tasty.

Diego, our host brother, got married today! His now-wife is Saila, daughter of a missionary from Germany. Diego and Saila are both trilingual (Spanish, German, English). All in all, it was a very special day not only for them but for us as well. This is our family right now, our community, our friends. After watching the preparations for this day for the last four and a half months, I was delighted to be able to join them today, to see Diego's face when Saila entered, to watch the grandmothers arm in arm, to see the bittersweet joy of the day.

All in all, the wedding was fairly close to what we have in the United States, minus bridesmaids. The biggest exception was during the reception, which lasted about 5 1/2 hours. Although everyone at the wedding was wearing formal attire, the reception was surprisingly informal in that it included a talent/game show. We had something like 5 acts, some of which were funny, some serious, and all fairly entertaining. As it turns out, this is not Peruvian in the least but is very typical of a German wedding. How interesting! It made the afternoon/evening a lot of fun and the event more personal and meaningful at the same time.

David (our language school friend), Tim and I walked by a store today that had out front a banner with a naked woman on it. Naked. David said something to the effect of, “Gee, I wonder what they're trying to sell. After all, she's not wearing anything.” Isn't it interesting that sexuality is such a powerful part of our lives that it has been stolen (in Peru) by beauty salons, cell phone companies, and solar water heater salesman to market their products? Whatever happened to creativity in marketing? Somewhere along the way, advertisers made note of the profound power of sexuality and decided to appropriate it for their own purposes. At this point, it's sometimes hard for me to remember that God created sexuality and not Playboy magazine.

The people of God (when following God) have always stood apart from the culture in terms of their perspective on sexuality. Do we stand apart now? Our holier-than-thou attitudes claim that we do, but the statistics don't support it. The darker parts of our culture would like to claim that sexuality belongs to them and redefine it for us, but God says it's His own idea, gift, design for the world.

How can we as the people of God reclaim His own picture of sexuality? Beyond the personal level, I think the most I can offer is a willingness to talk about sexuality in the right contexts. It seems to me that in this culture more than in America, the view of the Church (Catholic and Evangelical) is clearly stated but never discussed. Women, and especially young girls, are left at the mercy of those who do talk, and with low levels of education and self-respect, it's not a good story. I am reminded again of something I read while preparing to come here: What is most personal is most universal. That makes sense to me in this context. And while sexuality is deeply personal, it is also obviously universal and universally problematic.

I guess I don't have any answers, particularly not ones I would find appropriate to share on the Internet to billions of unknown readers. Not that billions of people will read this, although I probably and unfortunately will get a lot more hits today from random Google searches. I don't know how to confront the tragedy of misused sexuality on a global level. What I know (sort of) is how to love one person at a time, share my life with her, and be honest about the things that matter most to me.

PS: I just found an article about sex in advertising on Wikipedia, which was not that fascinating but included this quote from Calvin Kline: “Jeans are about sex. The abundance of bare flesh is the last gasp of advertisers trying to give redundant products a new identity.” Wow. Someone could write a thesis on that.

I hope when I say “Church” your first thought isn't a building. I hope it isn't even the group of people who meet in the building. The Church is the family of believers in Jesus around the world. And oh, are we a dysfunctional family.... When it comes to reclaiming the Way of the Church, we have our work cut out for us.

One of the things that makes me so excited about our upcoming ministry in Puerto Supe is that there isn't a lot of reclaiming to be done. We are the first of our kind (not Catholic, Mormon or Jehovah's Witness) to set up camp in Puerto Supe. We haven't had a chance to lose sight of anything yet. At the same time, we come to Puerto Supe with a grave responsibility- not to reclaim but to claim the way of the Church. People are looking to us to see what Jesus is all about.

What are the things I want to claim for the Church? What do I want my life and relationships to communicate about Jesus? What do I want my example to teach about how a community of believers should live in a culture of unbelief? Here are a few ideas (forgive the mixed parts of speech).

• Deep hospitality, a welcoming community
• Lavish generosity
• Doers of the Word
• Purity
• Defenders of the oppressed
• Caretakers of the community
• Gentleness and fierce love
• Living beyond reproach
• People who listen
• Passion
• Respecting all people
• People who live and breathe grace
• Humility
• People who forgive

To teach those things, I have to be those things. My words are quiet but my life is loud. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

What can I say about love? I am speechless before the word, knowing that it is the center God's call for me and not the center of my life. There are a few things and people I really love. Take Tim and Taza (my two blonde sleeping beauties), for example. But Jesus says, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them” (Luke 6). The call is to love the unlovely- the people who get on my nerves, the ones who seem dangerously dirty, the very ones trying to take advantage of me just because I have white skin.

The calls to love God and love my neighbors are intrinsically and irrevocably linked. The commands in Hebrew (from Deut. 6:5 and Lev. 19:18) begin with the same word, which for the Jews was (is?) extremely significant (particularly since the word is unique to these two commands). Jesus calls these the most important laws of the 613 listed in the Torah and says that every other command is based on these 2. Makes you wonder how those laws about mildew fit in, right?

Our speaker last week suggested that perhaps God intended the second command to be the answer to the question posed by the first. How do we love the Lord our God with everything we've got? By loving our neighbors as ourselves. If we want to grow in our love for God, we've got to start giving ourselves away. Maybe God can't (well, won't) take us higher or deeper until we go wider.

Today that means being more willing to share Taza with Joni and baking a birthday cake for a friend, not only as a gift to him but also to relieve Miriam and Lula of the work since they're busy with life plus a wedding (my host brother Diego is getting married Saturday). What else could it mean, big or small? I want to keep my eyes open for the possibilities.

I've always been curious about Jesus' anger. What expression did He have on His face when He told off the Pharisees? How did He maintain His perfect peace and self control when He got indignant with the disciples (and He did)? What the heck did it look like for Him to raise a riot in the Temple over money changing and animal sales? I mean, He had a whip for crying out loud!

In His anger, Jesus was without sin. Anger, therefore, must have the potential to be an instrument of redemption and righteousness just as much mercy. Our speaker pointed out last week that Jesus' anger was about defending the Father's reputation and not His own. I would say that His anger was also about fighting injustice and oppression. Mine usually seems to pop up when I feel personally attacked, probably not good grounds for the reactions it provokes.

What are the things in the world, in my life, in this culture, that should make me angry? Where is God being misrepresented? Where are people being treated unjustly? Where is God's kingdom being held back and by what? Maybe I should be less angry about fluorescent lights and more angry about suicide bombs in Pakistan or 1 in 4 American teen girls having at least one STD. Maybe I should stop sulking in my anger and get mad, mad enough to start fighting for a better world.

PS This photo is of a plaque in the Cathedral in Lima. It honors the Banco de Credito for funding repairs to the Cathedral in 2004. Note the logo. I'm not ready to make a judgment on this one, but it's eerily ironic I think.

Tim and I worked together on this for 4 hours and although it ended up miles away from the magazine photo, after tasting it, I'm not sure Martha's could have been any better. YUM. What could be better than four layers of chocolate cake, chocolate mousse mixed with cashew brittle, and chocolate ganache topped with raspberries and more cashew brittle? Nonetheless, 25 ingredients and 13 steps?! For two people to work simultaneously for 4 hours, you can imagine how complicated this cake was.

In the process, I discovered a new delicacy of Peru: natural yogurt. I guess they have it at home, too, but I never saw it. Here it's pretty common and makes a good substitute for creme fraiche. On its own, it's delightful, too! Rich and creamy with a slight tangy flavor. If I remember correctly, it's sold fresh every morning in the Puerto Supe market. I'll be looking forward to some tasty breakfasts of yogurt and fruit!

On another topic, here's a photo of Taza from this morning. I couldn't resist.

Remember this story?

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16

Jesus said that God's kingdom belongs to people who are like little children. What is it that little children have the I can reclaim in order to participate more fully in the Kingdom of God? What is it that delights Jesus so much about them?

1. They believe that impossible things are possible.
Sounds Biblical to me, and yet it's something I struggle to believe in everyday situations. As we approach Moving Day, I'm getting a little scared that we're going to “waste” these 2 years in Puerto Supe and that God won't do anything special. After all, our desires to be part of substantial change in the town are pretty much impossible. But isn't this God? Aren't we dealing with the One who created the whole earth and the human heart? He made life. He can do anything He wants with it.

2. They are comfortable in their own skin.
Nothing to prove, nothing to hide. Kids accept who they are and don't obsess about who they're not. Because of that, they have the presence to love people freely and to exercise their little gifts without worrying about the things they're not good at. Isn't it about time to go ahead and grieve who I'm not and let it go? Isn't it time to start enjoying the parts of me that God was pleased to make?

3. They are full of wonder.
If I ever get tired of seeing the snow-capped volcanoes rising like rockets out of the desert surrounding Arequipa, I will know I'm in trouble. The Bible says that Creation declares the glory of God. I'd like to reclaim an awareness of the beautiful things around me- nature, people's expressions, good news- and let them drive me to wonder and worship.

We pray “Thy Kingdom come” and we really mean it; we want to see the Reign of God made real on this very earth. As we move to Puerto Supe in 3 weeks (or so), we move to participate in a work we think is working toward that end. How do we draw nearer to His Kingdom? By becoming more like little children, for one. Please pray with us that these three characteristics would be manifest in our “old” flesh. We want to believe and see impossible things, find the self-confidence to empower love, and gain a renewed sense of wonder as we open our eyes.

What would happen if people who claimed to know and love God actually lived the Way that Jesus lived when He came to show us fullness of life and give His own life for us? What would it look like if we started asking the Holy Spirit to show Himself off in power in our lives?

If I started asking non-believers what they think of Christians, I don't think I'd be all that delighted by the answers. We don't have a particularly great reputation anywhere in the world. Take Isabel Allende, for example, the author of the autobiography La suma de los dias that I'm reading right now. Speaking to her daughter who died years ago, she says (forgive my inferior translation):

Here, in this world that you left behind, God has been kidnapped by men. They have created nonsensical religions, that I don't know how have survived through centuries and continue expanding. They are relentless; they preach love, justice and charity, and in order to impose them they commit atrocities. The principled men that propagate these religions judge, punish, and furrow their brow against happiness, pleasure, curiosity and imagination. Many women of my generation have had to invent a spirituality that fits us . . . . I like the idea of an inclusive and maternal divinity, connected to nature, synonymous with life, an eternal process of renovation and evolution (p. 282).

Now compare her vision of Christians/Christianity with what is said of the Early Church in Acts 2:42-47:

The believers studied what the apostles taught. They shared life together. They broke bread and ate together. And they prayed. Everyone felt that God was near. The apostles did many wonders and miraculous signs. All the believers were together. They shared everything they had. They sold what they owned. They gave each other everything they needed. Every day they met together in the temple courtyard. In their homes they broke bread and ate together. Their hearts were glad and honest and true. They praised God. They were respected by all the people. Every day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.

What happened? Where did we go wrong? When did we stop being a community characterized by love and the respect of others and become people who offend others so much that they “have had to invent a spirituality that fits” them? How can we reclaim what we left behind?

Jesus said, “Let your light shine in front of others. Then they will see the good things you do. And they will praise your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). That's the kind of life I'd like to live. One that brings praise to my Father in heaven instead of condemnation. About that life, Paul wrote (Philippians 2:15, the Message version), “Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night."

When I reflect on the life of Jesus and His first followers, some of the points that stick out most to me are love, generosity, worship, and purity (specifically in the Acts passage above). How can I put those into effect more in my life? What are some immediate and simple steps I can take?

• I can love by listening more and speaking less.
• I can show generosity best with my most precious resource, my time, by not being too busy with my to-do list to attend to the needs of others.
• I can worship with a heart more deliberately grateful, recognizing the Lord and delighting in His gifts around me.
• I can seek purity in the places often left behind or hidden- my thoughts, my attitudes, my intentions.

Jesus, you are Light. Shine your grace on me, for my sake, and so that I might be a reflection of that Light for others.

Here’s the SAM Peru crowd we enjoyed at our conference this week. Tim, Taza, and I are in the middle. We got back this afternoon and are feeling a little lonely without our new friends. It was a beautiful time of fellowship, fun, good food, and meaningful teaching. I don’t think I once felt like an outsider or the victim of someone’s conversational charity. We had plenty of time to rest and reflect but still managed to learn so much. We also had a lot of American candy brought in by people joining us from the US! Have you noticed yet that Easter M&Ms are called “bunny mix”? Who would have guessed that you could even make Easter politically correct?

Here is the daily schedule we followed:
7:15 breakfast (bread, Nescafe/tea)
8:00 group devotions by gender
8:30 worship and teaching
10:00 break
10:30 reports on our various projects
11:45 prayer time
12:15 lunch
1-5 rest or sports
5:00 worship and teaching
6:15 dinner
Evening free time

The group consisted of
4 current Puerto Supe people
3 language school students (including us)
4 missionary kid teachers
6 missionary pilots/mechanics and their families
1 family working with a tribal church association
1 family working with developing church leaders along the jungle rivers
1 German missionary woman who has been here for 41 years
2 Peruvian pastors and families (missionaries from Lima to the jungle)
2 counselors and 1 speaker specially sent from the US for the week
Taza

It was so exciting to have the privilege to be with the group this week, surrounded by people who have been seeking and serving God in Peru for many many years. I was inspired by the community they share and the creativity and passion they put into their work.

The teaching theme for the week was “Reclaiming the Way” (as in, the Way of Jesus). It was a beautiful reminder of the life God offers us and how much deeper and more lovely it is than the life we settle into or the life Christian culture suggests. We focused specifically on reclaiming the Way of Children, the Way of the Father, the Way of Anger, the Way of Love, the Way of the Church, the Way of Sexuality, and the Way of Story. I hope to write more this week about those messages as I reflect on what they stirred in my heart.

This week is the South America Mission Peru field conference. We are gathered at a resort outside of Arequipa with the other 40 or so SAM missionaries working in Peru. Believe it or not, when I say ¨resort,¨I actually mean it! The place is beautiful by anyone´s standards. It is warm but not hot, green and fully of tasty food. Despite our fear of large groups and strangers, we are enjoying getting to know the other missionaries, most of whom work in the jungle. Taza is really enjoying herself since this is her first opportunity to roam more or less free (no vaccinations yet = no exploring Arequipa).

We will be out of touch (from internet) through Friday, but please keep us in your prayers during this week.

• Pray that we would connect with the ¨jungle¨missionaries and have more opportunities to grow deeper in community with our Puerto Supe team.
• Pray that we would be learners in relation to all these seasoned missionaries, that we would find ourselves full of humility and more eager to listen than speak.
• Pray that we would be sensitive to the teaching presented by our speaker, Brady, and that the Holy Spirit would awaken new truths in our hearts.

Yesterday morning we visited an Anglican church in Arequipa. For anyone who isn’t familiar with liturgical worship, the idea of finding my “home church” in another country, another language, and with no familiar faces probably sounds impossible. You’ll just have to believe me that the familiar patterns of our Anglican traditions were enough that I was in tears before the service even started and afraid I was going to have a face covered in smeared mascara.

Over lunch, I told our host dad about the experience and mentioned that we were the only “gringos” at the church. Laughing, he suggested that maybe we were the only Christians, too. While I don’t know the whole story, the reasoning he gave for thinking the church is faltering on faithfulness to truth seemed pretty silly to me and I think could be more of a misunderstanding of Anglican practices than a doctrinal disagreement.

Why such division and judgment? My heart is heavy as I consider how far a­­­way this seems from the heart of the Gospel, the heart of Jesus. When did diversity within the Church become such a source of pain? I want to be respectful of the Peruvian Christians I meet, but I know also that I have a responsibility to do what I can in seeking a faithful expression of the Kingdom of God here. To me that includes (as one of the highest values) unity and ecumenicalism, particularly in the sense of honoring the spaces where we are the same and learning from the spaces where we are different. My desire is to extend a heart slow to judge and eager to understand to all expressions of Christianity, Catholicism included, although I know that is a sensitive topic for many.

Where is the road where I can stand by my own convictions with determination and deep faith and simultaneously respect, honor, and work alongside people different from me, even those with whom I have significant disagreements? To me it begins with listening. After all, sometimes it’s less disagreement and more misunderstanding. Lord, give me an open heart to understand the people around me, to withhold judgment, to talk less and listen more, to love with your heart and through your Spirit. In Jesus’ name.