I checked myself in at a B&B this morning for a 24 hr personal retreat. I was a little nervous about the solitude, really. I wanted it so desperately but also knew that it would leave me vulnerable without any of my usual distractions. In the first 10-20 minutes, it occured to me that my room was awfully dark. While that would be lovely for sleeping, it doesn't make a great setting to read all day. I decided to switch rooms (a little sad because it meant losing a great bathtub). 10-20 minutes later, I realized that the noise from outside was insurmountable. I thought about getting a CD player and putting on some music or maybe buying some earplugs. Then I realized that if I needed to do something like that, it didn't make for much of a retreat. Might as well go home and read in my bedroom. And I did.

I'm sure that much of the distraction is internal, my own thoughts and anxieties jumping up within me. I am hoping to try again on the retreat, in a different spot next time. From my bedroom at home, though, I actually had a surprisingly retreat-y day today. I read Larry Crabb's new book The PAPA Prayer, which has left me with some fresh perspective about who I am, who God is, and how we fit together. I feel hopeful about the coming week, positive about the direction I am moving in with the Lord, and a little bit renewed in my vision, emotions, and spirit.

1 Comment

1. jason and lindsey on March 26, 2008 at 1:30 AM

   lindsey and i love the book "the papa prayer" (we love almost anything by crabb). i really like how it brings our focus back to relationship--knowing god and allowing him to know us, exactly where we are. very applicable during the crazy transitions of cross-cultural life.
   
   jason k