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This morning the dogs and I were back on the beach, back in our normal routine. It was beautiful out there. We sat down on a flipped over boat and watched the tide come in around us. I love the waves and the wide open sky. It has been such a place of refuge to me recently. I find I am able to pray there in a way I can't in my house.One thing I have been asking God for recently is that Tim and I would find friends. I think part of the problem is that the people already involved in the community are friends of the missionaries who are already here and who happen to be in different life stages than we are. I do think it's important to have friends that are unlike me- older or younger, for example- but I long for a friend with whom I have something in common. I don't know how to be friends with a 19 year old really. And while it's easier to be friends with someone who is 40, I still miss people my age. I know they're out there. I just have to figure out where to find them.
The other issue is that I almost do have more in common with someone who is 40 here, because the life of a 26-year-old woman in Puerto Supe revolves almost entirely around her children. There is no such thing as a babysitter. You just take your kids with you everywhere you go. If the child is a little rowdy or if there is more than one, that becomes a hindrance to me really being able to spend time with the person. Let me just say as an example that some people were over here for lunch the other day and their 4 year old daughter (we realized later) was out back putting detergent in the dog's water bowl and trying to bathe them. We got suspicious when Taza ran into the house with one wet paw.
All that to say that we covet your prayers, too. I'm so glad that we have each other and that we have such amazing friends "back home." But we're longing for companionship here as well.
Hey Han, totally relate to your inability to really hang out with someone with kids---I'm that someone! Thankfully in the States we do have the option of our husbands watching the children so we can hang out, or of putting them down for a nap and hanging out. Is it an option for Tim to watch the kids so you and the mom can talk? Or do they think that would be totally weird? What time do the kids go to bed? If it's not the same time as the adults, can you go hang out with them at their home after the kids are asleep?
I'm guessing that you've probably thought of these things, in which case you're going to have to do the same thing that I have to do when I want to hang out with someone but have my little sidekick with me. Namely, make it work. The fundamental principle of conversation that I've learned as a mom with a young child is to expect interruptions. You may have only a cumulative 15 minutes of conversation in an hour's worth of time. But it's better than nothing at all. And the fact that you are willing to invest time in her and attempt to talk with her despite the interruptions will mean the world to her. Moms of young kids long to have adult conversation-even if it's only 3 minutes. It will take sacrifice on your part because it will feel like a waste of time. But you will truly be expressing agape love. Consider it preparation for the days when you are a mom of young kids!
A few other ideas I just thought of: Go hang out at the mom's house so her kids have stuff to play with. Go with her to take the kids to do something fun in the town that they would enjoy and snag conversation with the mom that way. Could you stick in a kids' DVD on your laptop so your dogs don't get injured?
That said, I will be praying that the Lord will give you a friend who is your age, childless and does not have kids. Until then, I will pray that He will give you eyes to experience friendship in unexpected people. Mucho amor!
What a beautiful response from Mary!
Mom