This morning as we made our way through the obstacle course that is Barranca, Tim told me I was being irritable. "You're right," I said, but not in humble admission. I was actually bathing in self-pity, thinking to myself that it was probably worse being Irritable Me than being him next to Irritable Me. Besides, what can I do if I feel irritable?

Guess what. There's a lot I can do. Pull myself together, for one. Pray, for two. I know that I am responsible for my actions, words, and attitudes. Culture shock may explain my irritability, but it certainly doesn't excuse it for one instant.

I confess that recently, I've felt my very presence here was some kind of gift to God-- like me being unhappy was certain to make God happy. It's not true. The fact that I live here doesn't actually do anyone any good; it's what I do with my life here that counts.

I don't want to be content with a superficial spirituality that means I don't buy pirated movies but I let bitterness or pride pepper my heart and render me unpalatable company for everyone, myself included. I don't want to give up on goodness and let this ugliness reign in my soul. I want to move closer to the heart of God and to grow more into the likeness of Jesus.

Thanks to Tim for speaking the truth and at the same time, letting me decide what to do with it. That's the kind of person that I want to keep around.

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