Giving money is way more complicated now than it ever was before (in Charlotte) for a number of reasons-- our position/job and cultural differences in particular. Two episodes today leave me remembering that we're in a whole new place here.

This morning our housekeeper came in and right away sat down and asked to talk to us about something. For the first time ever (she's been working for us for 1 year), she asked for a 1-day advance on her weekly pay, plus a portion from the following week. She needs to pay today for her daughter's secretary school, which fortunately only comes up every semester. No problem.

The distinctive part was the way she asked-- both in a whiny begging voice and ending with "Don't be baaaaaad." Both of those made me want to gag or say "no way" or otherwise respond negatively. They definitely didn't inspire compassion, but I had to swallow my frustrations and remember the cultural training mantra, "It's not right or wrong; it's just different." I hear the whiny begging voice all the time as well as this "Don't be bad" plea. They drive me crazy and seem totally inappropriate, but I'm not in a position to be judge over others' customs.

Second strange event. This afternoon someone I don't know came to the door. That always means they're about to ask for money. If I understood her mumbling correctly, the woman told me a story about how she was asking for "collaboration" in paying for a tricycle that her son had borrowed and then broken. She showed me a very official document about the whole ordeal. I think maybe the "offended party" had taken her complaint to the local judge or something. Maybe. Just a theory.

I turned her down. Paying back a tricycle? How can I tell my neighbor I can't give her money for lunch (although I'd be glad to share from my pantry) and then turn around and help someone else with a broken tricycle? Do these people ask my neighbors for tricycle help or am I the gringo target?

3 comments

1. The Kenaston Family on May 22, 2009 at 6:37 PM

   I read your reality posts and feel for you. I have not had the culture training yet, but soon will and I have already been told over and over that and other things from very well meaning people who want to prepare me for the field. The difference between that and listening to you is you are live time and I feel for you at the moment and learn from your actual example. Don't worry, no pedestal putting here. But as crazy as it all drives you know it is serving a good and showing me reality in the face of missions. I would, and not doubt will, feel the same way at times.
   Blessings,
   Stephanie Kenaston

    
2. Mary on May 22, 2009 at 7:13 PM

   I don't get the "Don't be bad" thing. What does that even mean?

    
3. The Chapmans on May 23, 2009 at 7:48 AM

   oh I hate that "No seas mala" thing! I feel ya.