The Bible says that God is "the one who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will" (Ephesians 1:11). It says also that his will is "good, pleasing and perfect" (Romans 12:2). Since I believe the Bible is true, those are important facts for me. Especially today.

Could it be true that he works everything out? Not necessarily in the way I expect or hope for, but in a way that is good, even perfect? Today I had a ridiculously over-the-top reaction to something that happened to me, and since Tim was in Puerto Supe all day, he wasn't here to take care of me. I remembered those verses and all of the sudden it didn't seem like an unfair coincidence that Tim was gone. I felt a peace that God knew and planned those events to coincide. And I knew that he would work it out the way he wanted, which isn't necessarily the easy way but must be the best way.

I know I often use Tim (and other things) as anethetics to my pain. I don't want to confront the way I'm feeling so I run from my emotions to something else. Today I didn't really have that option- no home to hide in, no husband to hide behind, no friends in this city of 10 million to go to for a hug or distraction. So I'm left feeling the hurt and searching my heart with the Lord. Surely he doesn't want me to stay forever with all these insecurities and twisted ways of understanding the world around me. He wants to draw out my impurities and wipe them away. I think he did a little of that today, and I'm grateful.

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