she can laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:25)
Every time I read that verse, I think of my friend Jenny. Were we laughing at the days to come the first time she shared that vision with me? We certainly didn't have an idea of what these days would entail (although I at least thought I did). And yet here we are.
Jenny's on the "scenic route" through her 20s, following her Navy pilot husband around the continental US (4 states and 5 jobs in 2 years). I thought I'd be "doing missions" in Spanish, but not in the desert, not so alone, not facing so many challenges, and not knowing that these 2 years might be my only 2. Our third musketeer, Mary, finds herself in Kentucky of all places, raising her 2 year old and dreaming of China. And she's a Southern Baptist now :-) Who would have ever guessed?
What does it mean to "laugh at the days to come" and how do I do it? Today I took my anxieties to Jesus and asked Him to give me in return some piece of wisdom for where to go with all these questions. The word that kept returning to my mind was "strength." Could I clothe myself with strength? One thing I love about that image is that it's something I put on. I am growing and learning and gaining personal, emotional and spiritual strength, but in the meantime, I can at least put on strength and pretend it's mine. Respond to criticisms as though I were strong. Set good boundaries as though I were strong.
And when my fears come back about tomorrow, next week, October, 2010? Maybe I can put them aside as though I were strong and wait to take them back on a day when I am. Or never. That might do just fine.