I feel convinced that this circumstance is part of the recent and ongoing class God is giving me in personal growth. I'm grateful for that, grateful for the chance to change and to be a different person than the one I am now. I know I need this. Right now I'm just bemoaning the fact that this is happening in Peru and not in the United States. It seems 10 million times harder.
As I talked through what I want to say with Tim, I realized I have no idea how to communicate what I'm feeling and why. I had to look up how to say, "it hurt my feelings"! Furthermore, none of the translations seem right to me, which (given the strength of my dictionary) suggests to me that this is not really a concept native to this culture (much like the notable absence of "accountability" from the dictionary and the culture).
I'm realizing also that what she did would be tolerated (although maybe not appreciated) in this culture. I don't think she'll see the heart-to-heart coming. That scares me. I don't want to come at her from behind with a brick. I feel convinced that the conversation is necessary, but I know I need to load it with grace, peace, and love. In my own mind, I also need to be clear about what is cultural and what is her.
This is so uncomfortable. Pray that the Holy Spirit would give me the right words, at the right time, in the right way, so that this conversation could be a means of grace in both our lives and not more pain.
