The last time we went to NYC (Oct 2004), the Museum of Modern Art was in the process of moving from their temporary location back to their newly renovated normal location. Tim was devastated and has been dying to return to see the MoMA since. With some last minute discounts, we managed to slip up there for a pre-Peru weekend and had a fabulous time.

Highlights of our trip:

1. Dinner at Vong, a new French-Thai fusion restaurant
2. Hotel Mela, 1/2 block from Times Square
3. The view from the Empire State Building at midnight
4. Legally Blonde, the musical!
5. MoMA's stars- Rothko, Giacommetti, Pollock, Diebenkorn, Monet, Matisse, Miro...

The next time you fly, be sure to obey the TSA and not take the following items in your carry-on luggage:

1. snow globes, regardless of size or amount of liquid inside, even with documentation
2. chlorine for pools and spas
3. nunchakus
4. cattle prods
5. bows and arrows
6. meat cleavers

But don't worry, you can still take the following necessary items:

1. personal lubricants of any size (must be declared if over 3 oz)
2. toy transformer robots
3. cheese in pressurized containers (less than 3 oz)
4. bone marrow, blood products, transplant organs (must be declared if over 3 oz)
5. prosthetic breasts (must be declared if over 3 oz)

And don't try to slip any of those fold-over sandwich bags. You have to have a functioning zip-top bag. No exceptions.

As a part of our training here in Union Mills, we have been spending time in small groups, in our homework, and in some of our large group teaching talking about the basics of our faith. The idea is twofold: 1) without the deep truths of God's love for us and for the world, we might as well just stay home, and 2) like anyone else, we are inclined to forget, distort, or otherwise fall away from those same truths. So we are spending a lot of time here focusing on who God is, our desperate need for Him to reach out to us (since try as we may, we haven't managed to get to Him by our own attempts at being good enough), and the breathtaking historical and theological reality of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ-- the story of how He did reach out to us and how He invites us into restoration and relationship beyond our wildest dreams.

It has been seven and a half years since the week that those truths first sunk in deep enough for me that my whole life turned around. I distinctly remember that week not feeling like this change in me was a choice so much as an irresistable compelling to new life. So where does all this meet me today?

I am realizing that in my desire to be accepted and approved, I have denied and hidden the shameful parts of me- arrogance, self-absorption, judgmentalism. Not that I've hidden them well. Despite my attempts to control what other people think of me, I'm sure everyone who knows me is aware of those faults. The problem is not so much that others don't know me, but that I don't let the whole me "out" into relationship with God and others. And because of that, I never get to experience acceptance of the whole me by God and others or forgiveness with regard to those particular areas. I don't find acceptance or healing for the very parts of me that need it most. I perpetuate my own convinction that the whole, real me is unlovable, and that the only way to "make it" around here is to try to find some self-control and to hide really well.

Today is a day for the Gospel to work power in my life. As I consider this life-hindering issue, I am stunned by the way God turns it all around. As I hand over the gross hidden unacceptable parts of me instead of hoarding them away, Jesus carries them all the way to the cross. He bears the weight of God's justified wrath against my dirty heart and yours, and today I let the power of that sin over me die with Him. But it doesn't stop there. In His victory over death, Jesus is coming home to the Father, and I join Him in His homecoming, wrapped up in His white robe. Just as the Father delights to see His Son returned, He delights also in me, His daughter. This is living in the light, letting go of the darkness inside me and risking the vulnerability to be seen as I really am. I'm coming home.

If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

In case you were confused by the last post (as some were), I wanted to clarify the purpose of that exercise. I don't think anyone in our class marked more than 20 "essentials." And some people thought "essential" meant "what is true for all people." Not necessarily that they would force that on people, but that it would be true whether the people believed it or not. The exercise was just to get us thinking about what things are cultural and what things are beyond culture. I even think some of the things on the list (You must greet one another with a holy kiss?) were meant so that no one would check them as "essential" but they would get you thinking about how you determine essentials. If "greet one another with a holy kiss" is instructed in the Bible but no one says that is essential, why would someone say "confess your sins to one another" is essential because it's instructed in the Bible? Anyway, I think it was meant to raise questions. And I think Tim and I won the award for least essentials.

Another interesting thought that came out of discussing this with a friend (not at CIT): I think I would be much more excited about planting a church with cannibals who believed in salvation through Christ alone than I would be about planting a church with some of the American churches that don't believe in salvation through Christ alone. Not as an insult to those churches, but just based on shared values. I think I am more concerned about salvation through Christ alone than I am about cannibalism. As long as I don't get eaten.

We completed and discussed this fascinating exercise in class today during our discussion of what is true, how do people decide what is true, what is true for every culture, what is wrong across all cultures, etc. In the context of a Christian faith, which items are essential for all believers to believe and adhere to? Which are core, unchanging items?


____ 1. Inerrancy in the Bible.
____ 2. Greet each other with a holy kiss.
____ 3. Salvation in Christ alone.
____ 4. Do not go to court to settle issues between Christians.
____ 5. Eternal security.
____ 6. Do not eat meat used in pagan ceremonies.
____ 7. A polygamist cannot be an elder or pastor in the congregation.
____ 8. Women should be veiled when praying or speaking.
____ 9. Muslim believers cannot remain in the mosque.
____ 10. Wash feet at the Lord’s Supper (Eucharist).
____ 11. Lay on hands for ordination.
____ 12. Tobacco is forbidden for Christians.
____ 13. Sing without musical accompaniment.
____ 14. Forbid initiation rituals such as female circumcision.
____ 15. Abstain from eating blood.
____ 16. Abstain from fornication.
____ 17. Forbid teaching from the Koran or other holy books.
____ 18. Share the Lord’s Supper (Eucharist) together.
____ 19. Use only real wine and unleavened bread for your Eucharist.
____ 20. Anoint with oil for healing.
____ 21. Women are not to teach men.
____ 22. Women are not to wear braided hair, gold, or pearls.
____ 23. Men are not to have long hair.
____ 24. Do not drink wine at all.
____ 25. Slavery is permissible if you treat slaves well.
____ 26. Remain single.
____ 27. Seek the gift of tongues.
____ 28. Seek the gift of healing.
____ 29. Lift your hands when you pray.
____ 30. People who don’t work, don’t eat.
____ 31. Have a private “devotional time” every day.
____ 32. Say Amen at the end of prayers.
____ 33. Appoint elders and deacons in every congregation.
____ 34. Elect the leaders.
____ 35. Confess sins one to another.
____ 36. Confess sins privately to God.
____ 37. Give at least ten percent of your income/goods/crops to God.
____ 38. Construct a building for worship.
____ 39. Confess Christ publicly by means of baptism.
____ 40. Be baptized by immersion.
____ 41. Be baptized as an adult.
____ 42. Be baptized as an infant.
____ 43. Do not be a polygamist.
____ 44. Do not divorce your spouse for any reason.
____ 45. Do not divorce your spouse except for adultery.


I found this a very difficult exercise, particulary because I didn't quite feel clear on what the two categories were. What does essential mean anyway? Essential to go to heaven? Essential for pleasing God? If I were starting a church in another culture, which would I choose as "essential" for people I would partner with in that ministry? What if the culture were a crazy tribal setting- cannibalism and all? Of course, if you don't agree with the tenets of Christianity, this exercise either becomes nearly impossible or is fairly meaningless.


One note of interest: In our discussion, many people said it was essential to "abstain from fornication" because of the commands of the Bible, BUT no one used that same argument as reason to insist that "women are not to teach men." In their defense, I think they were trying to discern what Biblical commands seemed specific to that culture and which were for all time. But how do we know? How do we decide?

Tim and I both marked "Salvation in Christ alone" as essential and didn't mark any others. To some of my blog-readers, I'm sure that sounds blasphemous- either that we would consider that essential, or to others, that we wouldn't consider others essential. Again, I think your definition of "essential" is fairly important here. I decided mine was "something I would be willing to die for." I probably wouldn't die to defend the principle that men have to have short hair.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Post a comment or shoot me an email! Let me know what you think is essential and why I am either closed-minded or a heretic!

As an update to my last post, things have been very calm around here since the night I wrote that (and also emailed some specific friends begging for prayer). I feel rather like I did before Monday. No dramatic solution, no life changes as far as I can tell. Maybe it was your prayers. Maybe it was the insight of a "cultural informant" that I called Tuesday afternoon to hear her perspective on the issue. I am still trying to process this week. I don't want to just forget this in my relief that it isn't carrying the same emotional weight today that it did Monday and Tuesday. I want to learn from this, to work through whatever fears and anxieties brought it bubbling up to the surface, so that I will be less likely to have another volcanic explosion at a less opportune time. We'll see.

Almost the weekend. Mom is coming to visit. Tomorrow we are giving our "life story" in our discussion group. More later on everything we are learning.... very interesting.

I am hesitant to write but know, as I wrote months ago, that all I have to offer is myself. What is most personal is most relevant and most powerful. I will take it to Peru because it transcends culture. I will offer it to you because it is an honest picture of the work of God in my life.

Yesterday, as we began looking in depth at differences in cultures, behaviors, and values across the world, a specific memory hit me with unexpected force and is not letting go. It was a rather traumatic but nonviolent encounter that I had with someone "in a land far, far away." I really thought I had worked through the issue and was "done." Ha.

I feel raw and fragile. Has an emotional reaction ever felt so much like physical pain? I know that this memory has power not only in itself but also as it touches other memories and experiences that have hurt and shaped me. I am confident that it is God who has led me into this surprising space, and that He intends to bring me through it for good, so that as I prepare to move to Peru, I might be a more free, more beautiful woman than I was before. The Bible says, and I believe it is true, that the Holy Spirit will "lead [me] into all truth." I am praying in desperation that He would give me understanding and walk me through this. It seems like every hour I see more, get new answers, go deeper into this rabbit hole. I don't know what is on the other side, but I trust that it will be good.

Please pray for me. Pray for my endurance through this pain and willingness to receive from His hand. Pray for wisdom and guidance as I try to be present- in my classes, in my home, in this consuming pain. Pray for freedom and protection from anything that would hinder the Lord's work and voice- spiritual forces, distractions, time wasters, fear, anything that I would use to anesthetize the pain and avoid dealing with it, mental roadblocks, unneeded fatigue, panic, self-pity, my "right" to comfort, misunderstandings about God or myself.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. " 2 Corinthians 12:9

One of the delights of being here, totally unrelated to cross-cultural training (I think), has been dinner. Someone before us left the fabulous Moosewood Restaurant Low-Fat Favorites, and so far we haven't cooked a single thing outside of it. If you're not familiar with the other Moosewood cookbooks, they're mostly vegetarian (but include fish) and TASTY! These are also refreshingly light after six weeks of fundraising eating. The cooking has taken a little longer than I normally allot, but it's definitely been worth it. Also, after a long day of thinking, there's something sweet about spending an hour chopping and mixing. Here's what we had for dinner (leftovers for lunch) last week:

• Saturday: Tropical gazpacho, Mexican pasta salad, Banana-mango shakes


• Sunday: Wild rice waldorf salad, Bean and bean gumbo


• Monday: Baked sweet potato salad, Mahi-mahi with pineapple chutney


• Tuesday: Corn and bean stuffed baked potatoes, Carrot orange salad


• Wednesday: Spinach avocado grapefruit salad, Corn and potato soup


• Thursday: Spanish potato garlic soup, Caeser salad


• Tonight: Savannah beans and greens soup, Cornbread

Highlights for the week to come include Chilled beet and buttermilk soup (Tim is nervous), Mushroom pate almondine on rye, Greek spinach rice balls, and Mango coconut cucumber salad. I love to look in the refrigerator and see it packed full of fresh veggies! I think I've realized recently that although I enjoy eating meat, I don't really like cooking with it. A vegetarian kitchen feels much cleaner and safer!

Things we use often: blender, soup pot, cutting board, onions
Things we haven't used at all: meat, flour, frying pan, butter, the oven (well, once, for baking potatoes)

In our discussion in class today, one woman said, "They don't want to hear a reasoned explanation. They want to see something beautiful." She was talking about taking the message of God's love to Ireland. I expect her insight will predominantly be true for those in Puerto Supe as well. Isn't it true in North Carolina?

Her perspective has significant implications for mission preparation. My emphasis is not on learning what to say, how to defend God's messages through arguments, developing good teaching for reaching out to nonbelievers and for the spiritual growth of believers. The emphasis is on submitting myself more and more to the precious grace of God, that He can continually shape me into the image of Jesus. The emphasis is on personal emotional growth in the power of the Holy Spirit, working through the issues that hold me back from experiencing life, people and God to the full. The emphasis is on growing in love, understanding and devotion in my marriage, that it would truly be a picture of the relationship between God and His people (as the Bible describes it in Ephesians). A more whole, healed, free me is the "something beautiful" that brings me joy, brings God pleasure, and invites others into the restoration offered through Jesus Christ.

As of this afternoon, we are $50/month away from meeting our monthly support need. When we got the latest pledge, I took about 10 minutes to be really excited. Then I started looking at what I could do next to find the final $50/month. It feels like I've been in that place for at least two weeks now- desperate to tie up loose ends and get to the finish line! For many, that could be a value-neutral desire. I realized today that for me, it's not.

This afternoon, I sat down to journal and pray, to ask God to remind me again that it was His work and not mine that raised this amount of money in this amount of time. It's a hard lesson for me to hold on to. My temptation is to give myself a good pat on the back for being such a gosh darn good person. The truth is that this is His mission and His funds will back it up in His time.

As I processed that a little further, I realized that one of the reasons I am so anxious to get 100% of our support met is that I think it will either show me to be a better person/Christian or at least convince others that I am. I have been putting all of my energy and emotion (i.e. worship) into meeting our support goal because my heart longs to win the praise and admiration of other people. But what did the praise of men ever do to earn my worship? When did the praise of men forsake heaven to find me? When did the praise of men die in my place? It is no more worthy of my worship than a carved walrus on the mantle.

Father, you alone are worthy of all of my worship. This relationship is my life. Consume me, and burn away the weeds that entangle my heart. Give me the freedom of worshipping you alone. In Jesus' name.

Here we are in Union Mills, NC (pop. 2500). This is my first attempt at video, so bear with me!

So far CIT has been much better than we expected (I guess we were a little skeptical in our expectations). The people, both staff and students, seem warm, interesting, and pretty darn normal! The daily schedule is generous on free time, 8:30-12 in the morning and then 1:30-3 in the afternoon. The content of the teaching has been interesting, and the teaching methods have really made it come alive. I am impressed with the standard of excellence we see here.

In case you're wondering what we're learning, the module we're on right now is called Equipping for Cross-Cultural Life and Ministry (first four weeks). They gave us 17 written objectives, but I'll try to summarize them for you:

1. Examine culture shock and ways to cope.
2. Identify potential problems affecting men, women, singles, marriages and families on the mission field, and talk about how to turn that around so that this is a positive, growing experience for all.
3. Learn practical information and tools regarding health overseas.
4. Discuss cross-cultural stuff: perspectives, research tools, data of social organization, areas of personal ethnocentrism, worldview issues....
5. Grow in personal faith and talk about how to continue that on the field.
6. Write a 15 page research paper on the target culture.

Today I booked our flights to Peru (we're leaving on October 31st). While reading about checking our instruments, I came across a very exciting page dealing with the more unique items you may need to check. Click here to view the page.

...those who acknowledge indicator lights and those who think their arrogance can somehow overcome physical reality. Unfortunately I (Tim) am of the latter.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." (Psalm 20:7)

For the last two weeks I have had a check engine light in my car show up at random times and even though it would stay around for a couple of days eventually it always went away. Well Saturday I found out about a new light. It’s called the “Water Temperature Indicator.” On our way to Nashville our car over heated and blew the water pump (and maybe the timing belt but the jury is still out on that one).

A state trooper came by almost immediately and called a tow truck for us. The problem was that it was 2 pm on Saturday in the middle of nowhere, so the tow truck drove us to the only place to rent a car, which consisted of a 30 minute trip to the Asheville airport. Once we arrived, the rental company told me the only vehicle they had were small SUVs and they had a 100 mile a day limit (Nashville was still another 300 miles) and to get unlimited mileage I would have to pay about double the price. In the end, due to Hertz’s 1-800 number and a friendly employee, I was able to get a car for a reasonable price.

Finally, after leaving the airport, we realized that we left the lock box with all of our passports, papers and valuables in our car which was being towed to Tryon, NC (about 20 minutes from where we’re going to cultural training). After much debate we decided to chase down the tow truck to retrieve anything we couldn’t replace - we had 5 huge duffle bags with everything we were taking to Peru in the car. Despite the chaos of it all, we managed to only lose 2 hours of driving time.

Kyle Young has told us several times the most important key to staying on the mission field is to have a sense of humor. Well I think we’re getting our chance.