As of this afternoon, we are $50/month away from meeting our monthly support need. When we got the latest pledge, I took about 10 minutes to be really excited. Then I started looking at what I could do next to find the final $50/month. It feels like I've been in that place for at least two weeks now- desperate to tie up loose ends and get to the finish line! For many, that could be a value-neutral desire. I realized today that for me, it's not.

This afternoon, I sat down to journal and pray, to ask God to remind me again that it was His work and not mine that raised this amount of money in this amount of time. It's a hard lesson for me to hold on to. My temptation is to give myself a good pat on the back for being such a gosh darn good person. The truth is that this is His mission and His funds will back it up in His time.

As I processed that a little further, I realized that one of the reasons I am so anxious to get 100% of our support met is that I think it will either show me to be a better person/Christian or at least convince others that I am. I have been putting all of my energy and emotion (i.e. worship) into meeting our support goal because my heart longs to win the praise and admiration of other people. But what did the praise of men ever do to earn my worship? When did the praise of men forsake heaven to find me? When did the praise of men die in my place? It is no more worthy of my worship than a carved walrus on the mantle.

Father, you alone are worthy of all of my worship. This relationship is my life. Consume me, and burn away the weeds that entangle my heart. Give me the freedom of worshipping you alone. In Jesus' name.

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