The increased housework has taken its toll on me, and my back has been giving me some trouble this week. Thank goodness for Tim, who has cheerfully assumed some of my responsibilities, and for our friend David, who is washing the dishes as I write (a job I think he has performed for the last three meals).

Sitting on the couch staring at the dirty floor, the dusty table top, or the ants marching by is revealing a deep-seated need for control that I can't satisfy right now. It's also illuminating how much of my sense of self-worth comes from insecure and ridiculous sources like a clean house and good cooking. I'm not handling this very well.

I'd like a healthy back, but even more I crave a healthy spirit. I want to hold things more lightly, accept what comes my way, and ground myself deeply in my identity as a precious daughter of God.

1 Comment

1. Mary on August 11, 2009 at 12:14 PM

   The second paragraph could be an excerpt from my journal. We need to talk soon!